My wife has discussed what she requires, before any thoughts of stopping divorce.
She would like for me to agree to joint custidy.
When I state I could, i asked will she then postpone divorce, and begin the required steps to work on our marriage.
She has told me that I'm putting a price tag on her,,,
Am i wrong for asking this of her???
Like i have said to her, i was trying to and was hoping to find out if we were on the same wave.
any suggestions please?

<small>[ September 05, 2003, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: MrCompromise ]</small>

Hi and welcome to MB,

Your W's reaction sounds like she has issues (an understatement, I know - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). Can you please share more of your story? I may help us in knowing how to respond.

L.

Well my W left several months ago. Has already filed for a divorce. As time went by we had an appointment with FOC, (friend of the court)i was awarded physical custody.
Within the last month, we have been talking about whats needed to stay married. for her to come back home. She has requested that i agree to and with joint custody, then maybe. After this, i asked if i agree to joint custody, lets say i signed, and filed to stop child support, agreed to joint custody. Can we then start working on us, to save our marriage? She responded with that thats a price tag, its not right. Said i needed to learn how to compromise.
I know everybody has a giver and a taker,, but she wants me to give so as she can recieve. Whats the difference. Other than she wants the divorce!? She adds that if i share custody with her, that it will show i'm not controlling.
So, i'm attempting to learn about, and how to compromise???
Almost everytime we talk, we get on the subject of us, when we do, its always how i was wrong. From even back to the seven years ago. I always thank her for sharing how she felt. Even suggested maybe it stay now where it is, the past.
Are there certain questions maybe i'm missing, that i should be asking!? AM i just suppose to give, and hope!? Hope that she's not manipulating me!? She never has any nice thing to say to me, or about me,, yet i'm suppose to agree, and than maybe,,,
Is this enough to go on?

Everyone needs to be a giver and taker at different times and circumstances in our lives.

Get ahold of Dr Harley's book His Needs/Her Needs.

What was the reason for the initial separation and D?

L.

Mr Compromise:

I don't know your story, however there must have been a reason you were awarded full custody. This is pretty rare. I would do NOTHING to change that until your W is making concrete positive actions over time to show she is committed to rebuilding and bad mouthing you all the time is not a great start.

Keep custody rebuilding the M is a separate issue.

JMHO

All my best

Jack

<small>[ September 13, 2003, 06:30 AM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Changing your custody agreement has nothing to do with salvaging the marriage as I can see. She may be setting you up! I would seriously consider this before doing anything, talk with your atty and see if some other compromise can be worked out.
You are not dealing with poker chips here, but a child!
If you should find you can share custody, make sure it has some clause of rescission.
This is one area you don't want to make any mistakes!
The Judge must have had a very good reason to give you full custody.
Besides, if you were going to go for counseling, work on salvaging the marriage, why bother with changing a custody agreement? She'd be coming home and sharing all that comes with it.
BEWARE!
LouLou