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So when does an affair become a relationship?
#1091651 09/18/03 08:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 351
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goodguy007
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goodguy007
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I'm feeling good myself but I'm starting to wonder something.

When were married we call what's going on an affair with all the negative stuff.

So if the WW spouse moves out and doesn't care about the BS doesn't the WW spouses affair really become a relationship??

I've read on this board at times WS who have filed for divorce a year after leaving home and we all term that relationship an affair but doesn't it change at some time??

Maybe I'm venting as it's now 6 months past Dday when my WW left and confessed. And 3 1/3 months since she NC me. (3 short contacts)
Re: So when does an affair become a relationship?
#1091652 09/18/03 09:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Orchid Offline
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It can be legally renamed as a M if they get married but it still reeks of an A.

At least that is what those kinds of Rs look like to me now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.
Re: So when does an affair become a relationship?
#1091653 09/18/03 09:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,553
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A.M.Martin Offline
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A.M.Martin
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A "relationship" is a vague word that evolved in the last 50 years to cover all sorts of vague sexual and emotional conjugations, once becoming engaged and married went out of fashion. IMHO, "relationship" doesn't mean anything. I have a "relationship" with my cat, my best friend, and my Uncle Fred, too.

But according to some MBers, a WS is not free to enter a "relationship" because they are married; hence, it is by definition an affair. My Webster's defines affair as "a passionate or romantic attachment, usually of limited duration; an illicit sexual relationship."
Re: So when does an affair become a relationship?
#1091654 09/18/03 09:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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T00MuchCoffeeMan Offline
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T00MuchCoffeeMan
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Sure it can change but what it can't change is the affairees inability to work on resolving issues that threaten the relationship.
Re: So when does an affair become a relationship?
#1091655 09/18/03 11:11 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Northern California
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redhat Offline
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Let me pitch in my 2¢ . A is a relationship full of secret. Actually after A is exposed to everyone, A become R.

Actually the question is when A could be a fullfiling R ?. The answer is given by TMCM ... almost none. Most WS walked away from M with emotional bagages into their new R those bagages will contaminate it sooner or later.

-rh-

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