Hi everyone! Well, I had my first court date for the divorce. It didn't go too well for my husband!! He found out that he is going to have to pay me alimony once the child support is over, he has to split the equity of our vacation property, and he has to split his retirement fund! I thought he was going to blow a gasket!! Poor guy (lol)! As for the kids, they are dealing pretty well. Val came up last night and spent the night with us and she wrote her dad a letter. That was on Tuesday and he has yet to respond to it. She handed it to him so she knows he got it. She told him exactly how she felt about the whole situation so I am sure he won't respond to it because the fog is still so thick he can't see what's going on. Val has finally settled into a good job and is very happy with that part of her life. She stays away from H's and OW as much as possible. She lives there so it is hard, but she usually just sleeps there and leaves when she gets up. The other two are doing pretty good too. My son is going to be in a play at school, which shocks me to no end. My shy son, who I have never heard sing other than happy birthday, has a part in a musical!! Charlene is back at college and seems to be happy. I'm hoping and praying that the kids have made that turn to happiness again. Well, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders the day of court. Now we will have a trial, Dec 15 and 17, to settle everything he is contesting. It looks like it will go in my favor, but you never know!! I never would have made it through without the support of so many of you here. Thanks again!!
Patti

YEAH PATTI!!! I am so delighted that it's going well for you! And I am glad you are going to get a good settlement. What are you doing to keep yourself busy?

Pat,

Sooo good to hear from you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You sound much stronger than before and glad to hear that the fog as thick as it maybe is getting a dose of reality and it is not missing the mark. $$$ or lack there of, has a way of finding them, 'eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Glad the kids are adjusting better. It certainly isn't because of his 'good' efforts.

Pleae keep posting so we know how you are doing. Believe it or not, I was just thinking about you this afternoon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugz,
L.

Hi !!!!

I've been wondering about you! Thanks for the update.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by brokenhearted:
[Q]He found out that he is going to have to pay me alimony once the child support is over, he has to split the equity of our vacation property, and he has to split his retirement fund! [/Q]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Did you sell the vacation property already?

Well .... "duh" to the rest .... you were married a long time. These are your rights .... don't back down.

What are you doing for yourself .... something wonderful I hope.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hey BH, glad to hear things are going well for you and that your kids are doing well. Your 'grace under fire' attitude has always been an inspiration to me. Sounds like you are getting your just reward for taking the high road through all of this. Funny how WH thinks he can just toss aside all those years of M and not have any kinds of obligations. A real eye-opener for him, and OW. Welcome to the real world WH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Onwards and upwards.

Patti - Good for you - I am so glad that court went well and you are on your way to get what you so rightly deserve....Just think what a Christmas Present that will be for you ... And I am so glad that your children seem to be adjusting quite well and expressing their feelings and moving on with there lives...Good for them.... Talk to you later - email me sometime... bye - Mimi

Thanks everyone for the kind words! We are all doing so much better with the whole mess. I've been keeping busy by working. I started back at my old job last March, just going down two days a week (it is 1 1/2 hours each way), now I am up to three days. but, I really like it and the money is good. I go out with my mom a lot. She lives really close to me and we keep each other company. I've been attending a church near by, and have met some very nice women. The vacation home is not sold yet...my husband will wait until the judge tells him he has to sell it. Dec. 15 seems such a long way away!! I usually go online a few times a week and always take time to read the posts. It always amazes me how much strength we can find in ourselves when we need to. I guess we all have it in us, it just takes some of us longer to find than others! Take care my friends, and thanks again for the replies!
BH

Hi BH
I was thinking of you, I'm glad to know you are OK. Me I'm OK. My H and I are friends. I have accepted my marriage is over. I have helped H recently, He needed to have a operation. I had insurance on him so he was able to get the operation. H never knew I had insurance on him.
This shows me how I've grown and forgiven him.

We talk as friends and nothing else, he has a friend. I'm not haunted by his OW any longer, they can have him. I do have a friend it's rough because I've gone through many storms with H. I do have trust issue. My friend is very patient with me. I'm filing for divorce finally. I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I here the word divorce that tells me I'm ready. I'll continue later. GOOD LUCK

Hi MALC! I'm so glad you are doing so much better! I hope to get to the point where I can be friends with my husband, but he has put me through so much and actually, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. I'm so glad you have a friend too! I know I'll be the same way with the trust issue. I went out on a couple lf dates with a guy but nothing came of it. He seemed to have a lot of the same characteristics of my husband, which kind of freaked me out a little bit!! Thanks for the update MALC it was good to hear from you!! Take care and BE HAPPY!!
Patti.

Hi BH....Good to hear from you also.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope to get to the point where I can be friends with my husband, but he has put me through so much and actually, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Same here.... I was put through alot myself. My H didn't want to have a thing to do with me.
It wasn't until he and ow broke up, when he initiated contact. So I'm incline to believe he was treating me that way for her benefit. It's a process believe me. I never thought we would get to this point, and so will you just wait and see.

Once your H open his eyes and see that he step in what he thought was green grass, but in all actuality it was cow manure, he will come around trust me. Unless guilt takes its toll then thats a different story. Take care I will keep in touch.

<small>[ October 04, 2003, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>