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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501 |
Hello all, long time no post. I have been on a hiatus of sorts from the board. Thanks to this website, books, and the posters here I had the tools and advice needed to go about rebuilding my life. I went into a psuedo plan b. Well she needed my help I most graciously helped out and then went on my merry way.
My Ws A has been over for a while. I am pretty sure of that because there is no foggy behavior anymore.
But after this afternoons activity I have decided to call it quits and file for a D. I fixed up the computer for her because it was on its last legs. When I dropped it off and got everything connected there were some slight installation issues. I got everything working as best I could.
She was cold to me the whole time. She even yelled at me when thigs were not going to well with the setup. I would think the she would be a little more grateful that I spent hours getting this thing up and running.
It was at this point where it all clicked and I could see myself filing for a D with no hesitation. I have no desire to ever be with this woman. Strangely enough I feel that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have to get some things in order and then I will get on with it. I suppose I should start posting on the D board. Any comments or stories of similar situations are welocome
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
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Luki,
Sorry to hear about your M ... but you know that most A is not about you or the state of M itself. I know my ExW would not be coming home even her A is ended. My ExW was not happy with her life and blamed me for it ... I guess your W blame you for her unhappiness too including her failure of A.
It is her loss. I made up my mind last Aug to push it for change for status and granted 12/31.
-rh-
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 503
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 493
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 493 |
LUKI,
I was just thinking about you and wanted to know how you were doing!!! I too have not been on the board for a long time.....getting my life back on track myself.
It was good to see your post, I kinda figured before you left the board that you were heading there. May I ask you something? What ever happened to the woman you were interested in?? I am not wrong in thinking that am I?? If I have you confused with someone else.......please, please forgive me!!!!
Yea, I wish you well, and hope to read updates on you.
Take Care......
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Luki:
I'm sorry 2 hear this. Have you talked 2 her about what she wants 2 do now that her A has been over long enough for her 2 think a little more clearly?
Try not 2 base your decision on a day's interaction. I got all moody yes2rday because my W was in a bad mood. Mind went running all over the place. Last night when I got home, I felt like a twit when she asked me if I was mad at her. ...I had thought she was mad at ME. ...and maybe she was. But it didn't matter, in the scheme of things.
Communication is the key. If you don't have it, but want it, then you know where 2 start the work. If you don't want it, then you already have a good idea what you need 2 do.
all my best,
-ol' 2long
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501 |
Thanks all,
Yes RH I believe that W still blames me 100% for "causing the A" and for her unhappiness in general. In the year that has passed I have yet to hear anything different.
As far as the potential OW, I got my !@#$ together and did not go there. Many thanks to this board for keeping the train on the tracks.
It will still be a little while before I go file. I need to prepare myself both financially(lawyer = $$$) and mentally.
Some people may wonder what took me so long. I needed to let enough time pass and keep the door open for a reconciliation. I have done that and can make a relatively non-emotional decision. I suppose that is in line with the Harley mantra.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
Luki: Sounds like you've got your waterfowl coaxial! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> -2long
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 501 |
If you mean "my ducks in a row"... as best I can. That's a good one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 779
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Luki -
Sorry to hear about your decision but I think you are in a much better "place" now. While it will be painful, I think you've learned a lot about yourself and how relationships are supposed to work. I can't help but think all you've learned will be applied to another relationship that will be much stronger than this.
I hope it does make you feel better to know that you've tried your best. You FWW will not be able to say that....
Good luck,
DB
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