Implementing the best distance, plan b I can today, just one day at a time... believe me, I am a plan b flunkie.

Support is requested, if anyone can help me, please do.

Some people reccomend filing for a d, any advice...? I know br did, and it helped in her case, problem I don't want D, but I don't want what I have either... ????

Also issues with major drinking, and boundaries... setting bigger boundaries lately and getting better at it, yes I really am! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ok, any thoughts guys?

Thanks, H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> There is hope for me afterall- yes I am getting happier, and I am less needy for him. I can be happy without him in my life.

H

Honey - you said it all right there -you don't want what you have - you have to rock the boat so to speak to make the changes.... He will continue on like this because though you try to be strong he knows that basically you are not going to leave him and you are holding on to him .... You have got to stand up for yourself - see what he does - if he comes back fine if he doesn't then fine you said you can be happy without him... Though you love him and clearly want your marriage and family - do you really want to hold on like this for lets say another two years....??? That is for you to decide - people all have opinions but yours is the only one that matters.... You will never know for sure what he did or who he did it with - you have to decide whether you are going to stay on like this - will you accept his single life style, will you accept his drinking??? What are you going to accept -??? Or do you want the changes that he is not willing to make??? I mean honestly does he really have to change because you haven't let him go ??? If you let him go and he loves you - he might want to come back and make the changes... But you cannot change him - you have to change yourself and not be so needy - stand up for yourself ??? Take a long look at the situation and think how much longer can I really live like this... Step outside of the picture and look at like it was one of your friends life - what would you tell her??? You cannot be afraid to be alone - because in reality you have been alone for a long time - and guess what you are surviving - it may not be what you want but - Is it the end of the world??? Really you must decide and only you - no one can tell you what to do - I wish you the best and everytime I read your posts - I think my god she has been through so much - much heart breaks for you - I have been there and done that... So it really is up to you.... I wish you all of the best...

Maybe you should write down your boundries on a small card. Something you can refer to frequently. Something you can pull out and look at when you are questioning your Plan B and NC. You know it will happen, so make some plans to face those times of weakness and indecision.

As far as D, I think you need some more time and a solid Plan B. But of course, that is JMHO.

Good Luck and God Bless, Honey...

Gib

I did NC all day yesterday... WOW for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> today I did a short call and he alreaady blew a fuse... he is getting a settlement ck for an injury which I am sure will be blown away much like another severence ck was when he was laid off which I got hardly any of.... Anyway, he blew a major fuse thinking I am a money clawing you know what with a few choice words at me... and I got off the phone... lovely. I do support the family alone and he is behind on his unemployed amount of child support... although the man is not unemployed... he works for himself on occassion....and anyway... the cussing and yelling is just part of the alcoholic disease.. but I got off the phone.. I am cking with a friend of mine who is an attorney on whether or not my name should be on the check... I hate to see more money go down the drain while I am supporting the kids alone and the attorney general does nothing to collect on money he owes me... ;(

Anyway, back to work, work work...

I hate his anger at me,....

Yes, I am backing off Gibby, but at the same time, considering some temporary orders to put more order into this deal... which would mean filing for a D????

Don't know... just sick of it... wan't more money ordered for kids.

Also considering ordering supervised visits.

Thanks, H