OK OK OK OK OOOOOOKKKKK... Alright already I get it... Stop with the 2x4's (although I know I need them...lol...)

I know Plan B is the answer... The next natural step in my roller coaster... And I will have to figure out how to make it work for me, even with a small child...

I do have a question before I prepare my Plan B letter for ya....

There are a few things that I would like to say to my WS before we seperate... And I would like to say them so he has opportunity to address them before Plan B, but I need to know if I should address these issues... or just prepare the plan B letter and let it be....

Here is the letter I would like to give BEFORE plan B...

Dear WS:
I know the next few months will be the most stressful of this roller coaster... The biggest adjustment period for our children and us.... There are a few things I would like to discuss. First I know you are deeper in this A then you have ever been. With what happened two months ago, I understand that you cannot live with that guilt... (OW "suicidial thoughts..") You are well aware that I cannot and will not be a part of this kind of R. My thoughts are still the same on this subject- I will not tolerate contact with the OW... Please know that I have known for quite sometime that you have still had communication with her- although you wont admit it.. The only person you are not being honest with at this point is yourself. I know you have tried to convince me that you need this "time to yourself.." To "sort through things..." And each and everytime you have said this my response has been the same... I pray for you to have a clear mind and open heart through this time, and if you do nothing else- commit to you. Although I know while their is still contact with the OW this cannot happen.... I know the contact with the OW is where you are feeling this pressure... We sold the house, downsized- but you werent working fast enough for her- and I know where the pressure is coming from... I know you better than anyone- please know that you arent lying to anyone anymore. I know that this seperation is what I need- I dont want to see you hurt like this when you have to come home and face the family after another lie. Its not the person I married. It will be so easy for you during this time to "lean" on her- she left her H to be with you... In her eyes this will just complete the cycle. I need you to have the ability to see this for what it is. Whether or not this helps or hurts us- its the only option left- so althought it is not my choice- it is what needs to be done. I am open to talk about this with you if its something you are willing to speak honestly about.
Your Wife.

Now- we have had very civil productive conversations about things lately. And this would be a very civil conversation (we dont "fight" so to speak...) I have been very good about NOT LB, but think this might cross the line? He is still deep in the fog- of course doesnt see it that way and wont admit it. Would this letter be a LB- or could the subsquent conversation about this letter lead to a LB? I dont want him to leave on a "sour" note so to speak... But then again my Plan B letter (which I want to give the day he leaves...) would leave a sour taste in his mouth anyway right?....

K. enough babbling...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Please know that I have known for quite sometime that you have still had communication with her- although you wont admit it.. The only person you are not being honest with at this point is yourself. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know you better than anyone- please know that you arent lying to anyone anymore. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am open to talk about this with you if its something you are willing to speak honestly about.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm confused. Is he being honest with you about everything or isn't he? If he's not then don't convince him that he is.

If these are things that you want to discuss with him prior to a Plan B then I suggest you go ahead and discuss them with him. Nix the letter. I am a big fan of face to face conversation. The trick is doing it w/o DJ's and AO's. Good luck.

jmho
ba109

He thinks he is being honest... He is fence sitting... And I am enabling it... So on to plan B... Cause Plan A's not working...

I thought about having it in a face to face dicsussion- and still might... Just the time factor has weighed against us lately... And it seems like we get to conversations when we can...

K.. I thought I knew all the MB lingo- but I havent heard the DJ and AO... what are these please... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Hi Ouch,
DJ = disrespectful judgements
AO = angry outbursts

I'm well acquainted with them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks TO4T.... Nice to learn something new... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I guess what I am afraid of is this conversationg turning to a big fat LB and him leaving on a sour note, but if I am to be honest about my thoughts and communicate with him I need to get it out... But he is still so deep in the fog I wonder whether or not I should just save my breath...

Do you get it all out...?... Do you save your breath...?...

I just want to make sure I can do an effective Plan B- and STICK TO IT... And if I dont say my peace- I might relapse.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />