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#1092838 09/28/03 01:28 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2
U
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2
Hello all Iam new here My name is faith and iam here trying to fix some stuff in my marriage,iam hoping to make friends and people who understand i look forward to learning alot of stuff thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1092839 09/28/03 02:01 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 470
L
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Posts: 470
Hi Faith,

Welcome to MB. You are kinda vague as to what you are here for. What kind of stuff is going on in your marriage that you want to work on. Give us a few details and maybe we can give you a little more insight...

#1092840 09/29/03 09:28 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2
Iam sorry i was just saying Hi at first, so a little back ground I have been married for 7 years in may , the first three went great and then my husband cheated with is ex girl friend which hurt me really bad becasue he hid it for over 8 months and it was in my bed in my house and i hadn't even been out of town one day ,well i choose to forgive him and we have come along way well at least i thought, about three days ago they day before he was to come home from being out of town for school he tells me he doesnt know if he's happy in are marrieage because i dont sexually satisfiy him, i know i have some sex issues but it bothers me that he waited like two years to say somethin now he wont even talk to me i call him at work he all the sudden has to go he used to call me from work everday iam feeling so sad and lonley he is my best friend and my life besides my kids i want to do to evervrything i can to safe this marriage so do i just give him is space or what iam feeling so lost well i probally have bored you all thinks for listing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

#1092841 09/29/03 07:54 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
Faith,

Have you read the articles on this site? If not read about Plan A, read about the 4 rules four a good marriage, read about radical honesty, and the policy of joint agreement, POJA.

I think you are hearing that the A is still on in one fashion or another, but also that there are still issues within your marriage. So do some reading, then come back and ask as many questions as you like.

Yup, your marriage can be saved but it will take some work and some luck. One never knows the future.

Hang in there.

God Bless,

JL

#1092842 09/30/03 07:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 470
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 470
I am no veteran here, but it sounds like your husband is having an affair. My W said all kinds of stuff like, I don't love you anymore, I don't want to be married to you anymore, there's nothing left for us, etc... She said all this before I asked her if there was someone else in her life. Come to find out, she was having an affair for several months and it finally came out in the wash. There are several books out there that you may want to take a look at. His Needs/Her Needs, Surviving an Affair by Harley and Divorce Busting my Michelle Weiner-Davis. These are good books that give some very good info. Also, read the articles on this site. There is a ton of information here... Keep posting and you'll get more responses. There are a few really good people that post here and they have some great advice. Hopefully they'll read your thread and give you some better advice. I know its hard when no one answers your posts, but you have to keep posting and the answers will eventually come. I hope this helps a tiny bit...

#1092843 09/30/03 06:59 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 597
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Posts: 597
Welcome,

Sorry you are hurting. I agree with the poster that said he is probably having an affair. His behavior is classic fog. Ofcourse, maybe he has not crossed the line, but he certainly isn't acting like a husband to you now.

I did not write you to depress you but give you hope. My husband had multiple affairs...well ONS...month long marriage vacations...whatever. It is a long road but you can recover.

This site and the information the Harley's offer is very helpful.

Best advise I can give, be the best person you can be so you can be the best wife you can be, but that doesn't mean settling, or degrading yourself. Believe me they try to blame everything on you...if you were more into sex, a better housewife, understood them better...blah blah blah. Bottom line is maybe that is all true but it is irrelevant because there is no excuse for infidelity. Work on you and let him work on being the man you deserve.

Best wishes.

ayslyne

#1092844 10/01/03 09:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Hi Faith,

How are you doing? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.


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