WH's birthday is in a few weeks time. Just curious as to what you all think about acknowledging this event, given that Plan B has now reached 4.5 months.

- Last conversation approx 3 months ago where he wanted to talk, but still was in contact with OW (i believe she was right there in the background, he was at her house for a sleepover) so no go.

- Last contact with WH (over tenancy/return of wedding ring/financial issues) via e-mail was 2 months ago.

The question: do I sent ANYTHING at all (even good wishes) or just ignore it? He sent me a present (a buddhist book titled "the art of happiness" plus a book on OW's favourite hobby - origami <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) which I returned saying until the affair is over do not contact me.

I am inclined to just let the day pass by .....
Acknowledging would put a chink in Plan B. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Enigma,

I think you know the answer.

"The MB way" is not a science. It is a strategy calculated to make the desirable result most likely. Nobody knows what your H is going to do - or how he is going to react. We're just playing the odds here.

Probably you have given him many indications that you love(d) him and care(d) about him. Sending him a card or gift is not likely to turn him toward you. I would recommend to ignore the occation. He will notice that. It's another good opportunity to get him thinking about you - and about what he is losing - by doing nothing, saying nothing, buying nothing.

-AD

YES !
PlanB is PlanB.

Thanks for the opinions. I am going to let the day just go by. So true 23Down!!

Didn't mean to come across as harsh, Enigma. I see so many people here who allow their emotions to ruin a good PlanB just when it looks like it is starting to work. I started PlanB six weeks ago today and have not seen or spoken to my wife since. It sucks! Is it working? I don't know, I guess that's part of PlanB. But I know it has worked for others. And remember, part of PlanB is getting you ready to move on if things don't work out. We wouldn't be in PlanB if we thought there was a better option.
Stay strong.

now divorced....what if i never made her birthdays that special during the marriage (actually, they just weren't special enough for her standards, cannot not live up to past "friends"), then what?

if i am looking for a response, should i pay special notice on her birthday now or pretent not to remember?

DK