LIR -

Thank you for saying what I tried to make them understand... but saying it better than I could manage. You were on the mark.

I had a song writting session last night. This morning, when I woke up, I went upstairs to tell my W that the song I wrote was not about the OW. I didn't say any more than that.... except to say... "I don't know if that makes any difference to you... but I needed to tell you that." She was visibly appreciative... It made me feel.... more.

I see the seeds for what they are.

I guess I had to hate myself a little more to get to a point where I could begin to heal inside. Slow road.

That's no excuse for how I've treated people in all of this... For now, I have to believe that forgiveness is in there somewhere.

And for those of you reading this who feel betrayed by my recent admissions... I never imagined it possible that I would feel indebted to names without faces... but I do... I'm deeply sorry for the anger I've wrought in you.

No response required

-TMD

I also found great compassion and wisdom in your post LIR...

very nice...

I keep posting stuff and deleting it...

I'm still not talking to you TMD ...
moslty because I'm not sure I see much point in it right now...not sure at all...

If I WAS speaking to you I would correct you and tell it's not "anger" people feel...
it's relating to the pain of this whole mess...

Captain Kirk always noted that the needs of the few never outway the needs of the many...
(except on the one movie where he went back to get Spock...but you are definitely not Spock..)

you should stay home on Sundays and watch more Startrek reruns...

ark (ok that was mean)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ark^^:
<strong>
If I WAS speaking to you I would correct you and tell it's not "anger" people feel...
it's relating to the pain of this whole mess...

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If I was hearing you not speaking to me I would accept your correction without question.

-TMD

TMD:

I got her post 2. It was very good.

I won't just stop posting 2 you because you tweaked my gain knob by shaggin' it with the OW on your anniversary - you're going 2 have plenty of living that down for the next 50 years or so without my help.

And though you might not think so, I do see signs of you waking up and coming out of the fog. Again, though, it remains 2 be seen whether you and your W will be "in sync" when you come fully awake. I hope so.

We're hard on you because we have 2 be. Or at least we believe we have 2 be. I believe that *I* have 2 be because it 2k harsh criticism of myself 2 wake me up 2 the things I've been doing wrong for so many years. That's just where I'm coming from, TMD.

Good luck 2 you.
-kid 2long

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 2long:
<strong>TMD:

We're hard on you because we have 2 be. Or at least we believe we have 2 be. I believe that *I* have 2 be because it 2k harsh criticism of myself 2 wake me up 2 the things I've been doing wrong for so many years. That's just where I'm coming from, TMD.

Good luck 2 you.
-kid 2long</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks 2Long -

For the record... I'm generally a pacifist... harsh confrontation tends to shut me down faster than anything. Tempered criticism gets my attention and holds it.

I didn't read any of your posts after the first one... I read ARK's harsh posts because I respect her and value her vision and feel her compassion through it all. You are still injured and vindictive in your content. Understandably so. I've followed your story. It's a hard one to read... like so many others here... and see the pain and uncertainty the WS seems so casually to inflict.

But 2Long. I will not be anyone's punching back for the sport of it. If you are incapable of making your point without brutality, I'm not interested. I honestly do appreciate your insight and your perspectives and I value them when packaged appropriately. Try to bloody me with them and nothing will get through.

And for the record... everyone... I didn't "shag" her on my anniversary. She was 300 miles away the night of my anniversary. The willingness of some to extend the time frame beyond 24 hours certainly helped to fuel the fire for the witch burning though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

-TMD

TMD:

I'm a pacifist, 2.

"I didn't read any of your posts after the first one... I read ARK's harsh posts because I respect her and value her vision and feel her compassion through it all. You are still injured and vindictive in your content."

Hm... I don't think I'm vindictive, but I realize you might feel that I am. I know my W *DID* at times. Part of the revisionist his2ry she was living under. TMD, *THAT* sounds like I'm being hard on her, but I'm not. I'm being honest, like you (and she) profess being in your replies/reactions.

Since you don't respect me, though, I will cease posting 2 your threads. I don't need this crap any more than you believe you do, TMD.

"Understandably so. I've followed your story. It's a hard one to read... like so many others here... and see the pain and uncertainty the WS seems so casually to inflict."

And it FEELS like it's 'casually inflicted' at the time, as you've discovered. I realize now that it wasn't. I "knew" it then, 2, but I couldn't internalize it, or I couldn't get past my own hurt. And THAT was what I was referring 2 when I told you that I had my own mistakes 2 overcome and learn from.

"But 2Long. I will not be anyone's punching back for the sport of it."

I don't believe I post 2 you for sport.

"If you are incapable of making your point without brutality, I'm not interested. I honestly do appreciate your insight and your perspectives and I value them when packaged appropriately. Try to bloody me with them and nothing will get through."

Since you believe that's what I've been doing, I'll respect your position and cease posting 2 you.

Good luck,
-kid 2long