The problem is that I want it everyday, which I realize is unreasonable. I have an incredibly strong libido, but W is no where near mine. BTW, W is the WS, not sure if that makes a difference. Sex has always been an issue with us, but now I feel that W gives in out of guilt. I do not want anything wierd, just increased frequency. Not sure what to do, but it is causing tension. Anyone else have a similar situation?

Talk to her .....

That's probably the EN that OM met.

talk to her ..... means:

sit with eye contact

speak from an "I" position rather than a "you" position

nod or smile or otherwise give non-verbal responses

hug rather than "fix"

listen and acknowledge

You may ask "Can I help" .... otherwise just listen and acknowledge

every day leave her a message "Is there anything I can do for you today?" .... and mean it

offer non-sexual touching .... foot rubs, etc.

feeling accepted
feeling acknowledged
feeling admired
feeling cared for

..... these things usually increase a woman's libido

Women tend to work out their problems verbally, while men tend to speak after they have reached a conclusion .... so when you jump in on a woman's thought process with a "fix" .... it feels controlling .... just listen .....

My DH told me that his A got started because my H was willing to listen to OW, and her H was too busy and too controlling in his responses. This was a real turn-on for OW .... and she pushed for the physical affair with my H. To my H, the sex was the best thing about their A .... to the OW, the conversations were by far the best thing!

Talk to her. And don't stop.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks for the reply Pepper. My porblem is that with my high libido, I have a tough time with non-sexual touching.

As for the ENs the OM was meeting, there were 2, one of which I will never be able to meet. First, was conversation, which I am working on everyday, and we do talk alot more now. The other was learning Italian. He was Italian, so it was a way for her to improve her Italian. B/c W already speaks Spanish, she is having a much easier time picking up Italian. As for sex with the OM, there was only 1 occurance, and she says it wasn't good, b/c of guilt.

Also, when we do have sex, I feel alot of times it is out of guilt. I feel that she feels she is somehow "required" now. I wonder if that is common?

If you have such a high libido that you cannot show affection to your W with no strings attached then I'd suggest that you consider masturbating to releive some of the sexual frustration.

Remember that most women are turned off to sex when the men in their lives ONLY show affection because they want sex. Treat her with love not (NOT like she is a piece of meat) and you may find out that the sex will be a lot more enjoyable for the two of you. Afterall you did not start with sex when you started courting her years ago, did you?

<small>[ October 06, 2003, 08:00 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>