Hi All,

Just saw my new Son-Inlaw board a bus he is on his way to Kosovo with the National Guard. I worry about the kids and how this seperation will effect their relationship. For one thing they are so young and I had really wanted them to wait another year before they got married. They had their wedding planned for next year but when he was called up they decided to get married before he left.
They have been highschool sweethearts and have been dating now for 4 years. They get along very very well and you can just see that they love eachother.

Is there any of you who have had similar experiences with the military and how did it effect your relationships??

Jill

<small>[ October 13, 2003, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: jillybean36 ]</small>

Hi Jilly-

Being FTNG I didn't want your thread to slip away without someone responding...

There should be a strong presence of Family Support of deployed soldiers through SIL's NG unit...It is a quasi military-civilian section which can lend support for your daughter.

I am in the Air NG and we have folks deploying overseas quite often. Our Family Support group does such things as send care packages to the families, hold support group meetings every few weeks, keep you informed (without compromising sensitive information) about your loved ones deployment status as well as assist the both of them once he returns home as there is an adjusting period for both of them. These are a few of the things they do...One of the most important things is your daughter can gain some knowledge of how the military life works, what it is her husband is doing over there and perhaps cultivate compassion and understanding on her part to create a more positive outlook toward our involvement in Kosovo and be as supportive as she can be. I'm not usggesting she holds any ill feelings but I've seen it happen!

God's Blessing to your daughter and SIL for his sacrifice!

Hi JB36,

I was stationed in Turkey for 1 year, while my W and I were engaged.

The best rules I can give are these:

1. Don't do anything yourself that you would be angry if the other person did. (Going to bars, parties, whatever) I realize the H in Kosovo probably won't get a lot of chances to party, but you get the idea. You might want to explain to them the POJA.

2. Don't ever write a letter while you're angry! If you do, sit on it for a day or two, then re-read it before you mail it.

3. Write often, and enclose LOTS and LOTS of pictures.

While ten months may seem like a long time right now, in ten months you'll be surprised how fast it went. It is survivable.

Good luck to both.

Oscar

catch22222,
Thanks for your reply <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I will let her know about the support group. I think she is feeling all alone in this right now. Right now anyways she doesn't hold any ill feelings. I think she is really proud of him and is trying to support him.

Oscar,
Thanks for the advice I will certainly pass it on to her.

Jill

I'm also a military wife, and my H has been gone off and on for over 4 months this year. It's hard because we have young children, but we make it work. One thing I NEVER do is make my H feel guilty for "leaving" us. When I get a chance to talk to him, I tell him we miss him, and are so proud of him! I don't tell him all the "bad" things that happened... There's no reason to, and there is nothing he can do about them anyway. I always try my best to sound up-beat, so that he won't be somewhere far away, and be worried if we are really ok. I want him to always have his mind 100% on his mission. When he comes home, he will be 100% family, but when activated, he needs to be completely focused on his mission!

And your son's unit should have a FSG (family support group) that she can count on for just about anything. (being a new wife, I'm sure she has questions about pay, medical insurance, etc.) Make sure she uses everything that's available to her! (sometimes new wives are a little shy about calling someone they don't know, but that's what they are there for!)

God bless ALL our soldiers!
-mac

There are lots of good ideas and a message board at Millitary Wives.

I've been a Navy wife for 6 1/2 years now. Over a five year span, H was out for over three of them. Have her drop me an email if she needs support or advice.

Dobie
dobievsw@yahoo.com