A question- D-day 2.5 years ago. Still having problems, lack of communication, WS has no real interest in what I do or what is going on in my life. We spend almost 0 time together because of our schedules, he takes me nowhere and makes no time for me.

Now the question

A female who works for him had her truck parked in my driveway when I came home last week- no one at home, her or my husband.


No phone call, no note, nothing.

I leave and go to a friends house-I was mad- when I get home 3 hours later he's home- we say nothing to each and go to bed

Don't talk to each other for 2 days. I finally ask "why was her vehicle there?" he tells me they went out for a drink.

Nothing is going on- this I do know- call it gut instinct- but...

I have to ask him- he says I could have called, he had his phone with him- I respond by saying "It wss obvious you were with her" why would I call "to check" on them. Plus, he could have called me- or left a note.

He's upset cause rumor is going that he sleeps around with employees- (hmmmm rocket scientist he's not- if that's what people are saying why would you take her to a bar? Also they chose an out of the way bar- literally- and he says "we chose that one so no one would have anything to talk about. Hello.... there were people there who knew him.

I tell him thanks, that now these "people" will assume the worst, he says "tell them that you got tied up and couldn't meet us"

UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH- don't recall an invite!!!

He says "we were sitting across from each other, you could tell nothing was going on.....

I was furious- he maintains he's "sorry" but it was no big deal.

What's your take?

He knows this is unacceptable- other than hitting him across the head with a bloody two by four hello.....

Please respond- he's making me feel that I am not letting him live- <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

U say he isn't spending time and attention much less $$ on you? Yet he is willing to go have a drink with another person?

What is wrong with this picture? Tell him with his track record what does he expect anyone esp you to think?

Then ask him what is he going to do to make you happy? Never mind whether it makes him happy or not, you can save that thought for next week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Your giver seems to be getting tired. Taker is peeking around the corner and wants to get out and get moving. That is fair. So what's he going to do about that?

When my H was like that, we were in false recovery. He was not interested because the OW was still in the back ground. In our case, the OW doesn't like to be 2nd fiddle so eventually I found out. Not saying this is the same for you but I'd thought I'd share a bit.

L.

K9love ~ I don't think you're at all unreasonable to demand this type of behavior cease and desist! He has acted irresponsible in the past. This is unallowable now!

I think you need to set some definite boundaries for him right here and now for what is acceptable behavior with other females AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED!!!

<small>[ October 24, 2003, 09:44 AM: Message edited by: High Flight ]</small>

How can you both begin working on fulfilling each other's needs? Spending 2 days not talking and he didn't realize something was wrong?

You are angry and hurt, and coming at him with both barrels, but how can you lvingly talk of ways that you can both fulfill each other's needs.

What is something you can both do together to spend more time together? Join a bowling league? Take evening walks?

He's guilty as sin itself! He has no business with another woman without you along. And she should not be part of a trio, but have her own date. Out of way place? I would suspect he's in an A and possibly they went elsewhere besides the bar. But I'd also make it clear to her, better stay away from my H.
No one should be fraternizing with other employees unless single and off on their own time.
Bars are great places for A's to start by the way. It's where my H's first one started!
make it clear that you will not tolerate his dating! Because this was a date!
And plan your own outings with him. Don't take excuse of can't afford or no time. And if he refuses, adios baby.
I have read so many of cheating spouses, and the BS pain and hurts that now I say either the WS straightens up pronto or no second chances. Why go walk through hell for some unworthy jerk.
I have, but mine did a 180 pronto or he'd be history now.
LouLou