</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by way2:
<strong> MissLilly,
Hi.. how are you holding up?
I wanted to echo Silverthorn, and Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
It's not easy, but then doing what's right is often not easy.. but it does make you a better person.
**Way2-
Thank you for asking. Funny, when you were writing to me, I was calling the W! Check out my new post and see what happened. Thanks again for checking in-I really need it right now!!
Misslilly
When my H (I call him Myad here) had his A#2 .. he did not tell the OW a lot. He told her that I was angry with him and had been for years -- he did not tell her that I had been waiting for him to fulfill his 2 1/2 year promise of going to MC.
He told her that he was unwelcome in the house. He never told her how he failed to get involved and how he had left the whole house, it's condition (inside and out) and all the kids stuff up to me for many years, due to his depression, which he never got help for .. which also helped continue my anger toward him and my pulling away.
He told her that he didn't feel like a man any more, that I was no longer interested -- he didn't tell her that he NEVER went to his doctor to have his meds checked and changed -- his inability in this area left me feeling less to him, I thought it was me, and I further pulled away.
It was his meds and they were changed a few months after d-day.. and that has made a difference in his own mental attidue and our relations.
He told her that I wasn't active any more or want to be pretty for him. He never told her about the chornic pain I've suffered for 9 years do to fibromyalgia, which left me unable to move at times ... that was already being corrected 1 week into his affair after weeks upon weeks of going to several doctors about it and another problem. (no I only have pain when I've eaten too my wheat OR gotten too tired, like yesterday and today)
He didn't tell her about an email letter I sent him 3 months before his A about all the changes I was going to make for me and out marriage ... and I completed through the next 3 months before his A and one week into his A.
He found the draft for that letter on his computer three weeks ago and asked him why I had never sent it to him. I said I had and had the record on my account. He had forgotten about it and many things when he decided to have a A.
About 1 year into our recovery he talked to me about how much he didn't tell her... that she only heard his side of the story and that it wasn't balanced, it was designed to tug on her heart strings. (his words not mine)... he also realized how much of that was true about her and her H .. he had only gotten her side of the dotry and it now rang a little odd.
You don't know what has been going on in their relationship .. you only know what he wants you to know and it is probably designed to pull at your heart strings .. you don't know her side or the full story.
Yes you did make yourself clear that you want ot end the mess .. it's not easy, but it's something you MUST do.
way2 </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
