We have some very close friends that we share a lot of time with. Five months ago, the wife told me she was having an affair with her boss, and that she had been having the affair for quite some time (almost a year). Over the last few months I've encouraged her to end the affair. They are both Christians. This last week, the husband asked me point blank if I knew anything about his wife and her having an affair. I told him to ask her, he said that he did and that she would just lie. So, I did told him what I knew. I told him the truth. She is now telling him that I lied to him, and that it must be because I am in love with her husband (I am not, I am married and love my husband). She will not fess up to the truth and made her husband call me with her in the background and say that we could all no longer be friends. I am saddened. I love their family and my husband and I want them to be able to work things out. I feel horrible. Should I have kept her secret?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"Should I have kept her secret?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No you did the right thing in telling her H when he asked you if you knew if his W was having an affair, otherwise you would have been a guilty co-conspirator of her affair. What your so called 'friend' is trying to do is make you the scapegoat so she can keep having her affair a secret from her H. Don't be saddened for losing her 'friendship' be saddened for her H and her children.

You did exactly the right thing. Nothing good is ever gained from lying. You have done all you can do. Pray for them that honesty will eventually prevail. Don't feel guilty for doing the right thing - now the ball is in their court. God bless!

1. Too late to worry about it now, it's been done!
2. If the husband had to come to you and ask you that question, then HE ALREADY KNEW, he just wanted confirmation. If he questions you again, say exactly that. He knew or else he wouldn't have asked the question, what he choses to do with the information you gave him is his choice.

You did the right thing and her H will soon find out. A friend doesn't ask another to keep such destructive secrets. Her "secret" was not worth the well being of her H.

He asked you point blank and you told the truth--how could that ever be wrong?

I'm sorry the circumstances afterward are hurtful, but be patient--maybe she will come around.