Sometimes I write people letters that I never intend on sending. It's just good therapy for me. LOL Last night I sat down & wrote the OW a long & detailed letter for no reason other than to make myself feel better.

But when I read over it, I seriously considered sending it to her. I wasn't bashing her, I wasn't some psychotic scorned wife. I was simply telling her tastefully (with a bit of sarcasm, I admit) how I felt about her & the situation.

I wondered if it would be a good idea to send it. How do you all feel about contacting the OP?

I should admit too that this would give me an excuse to actually SEE her. It is driving me nuts that I don't know what she looks like. IF I decided to send it, I would certainly hand deliver it.

Any thoughts? Am I just being silly?

Coming from someone who has made contact with all of the 4 main OW in my FWH's life, I would have to say - no! Especially if he has established NC. NC means you too. I prolonged our recovery process by being obsessed with how the ending communication should be with the OW and at times made things worse. Not that I would do any of this over again, but what I would eliminate is all the times that I opened myself up to them even if I am much better at words and said some very good things.

Talk to your H about it!

I'm afraid I have to disagree with OUC, IF the A is still ongoing. If the A is over, you have NC, and are in R, then no don't bother confronting the OP because there is really no point. They are no longer a part of your life and to make them so shows they still have power over you. If the A is still ongoing though, YES by all means confront the OP. I put off confronting my W's OM and in hindsight I regret it greatly. When I did, I confronted him and W and the A pretty much blew up in their (W+OM) faces. Actually he went to where she works and grabbed her and slammed her into a wall cuz he was pissed at me. Said it was "None of my business". Whatever. Boom, A was over without even a need for NC letter. This is something that should be done WITH EXTREME CARE AND CAUTION though. You don't know how the OP will react, and it is possible they may become violent (as in case with my W). But in the end, I don't regret confronting him. When you confront them you help destroy the conditions that makes the A fun. Also, many times the WS has given the OP a whole lot of crap about the BS (he doesnt' care about me, never pays attention to what I do, doesn't care about M etc...), confronting them pretty much throws that all to the wind. Just my humble and unproffesional opinion.


MTD