It has been 2 days sisnce I called his W and told her everything.
Well today I talked to a close friend who has "been there"...it helped so much for someone else to really know where I was at and I had a good cry with her.
Today (& yesterday) I came close to calling him to either: blast him for all the lies or: saw myself crying on the phone and just saying "Why?!"...somehow Ive gotten thru it and didnt call;but I cant get over that he hasnt tried calling me!! I KNOW Im better off in the long run if he doesnt, but I guess it hurts more feeling the nail going in deeper that I guess I wasnt what I thought I was to him to begin with.
I do NOT want this to pull me down, and find myslef fighting it, but nightime it takes me over...lying in the dar and the silence I am forced to feel the emptyness, guilt, pain, etc of it all.
Need to hear from you guys today!!

Miss lilly

I was wondering where you were. There will be a few days like this ... just stay strong and work on yourself ...

You ready for a laugh? Scroll down to my psycho b#tch thread .. you're in the story! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

way2

Hi MissLilly

Stay strong, call your friend and go out to a movie tonight. Spend some time with your friends and try to have a few laughs. A nice comedy would do nicely.

Time and Patience, Post here when you need to, vent here. Like Way2 says work on yourself

Detective novels. Try a good detective novels. (Problem with movies is that almost all of them have some romantic theme, which I find a downer at times like these.)

Have you ever read Dorothy Sayers? Marjorie Allingham? Well, these are old-fashioned (1930s), but there are lots of good ones. (PD James?)

Reading about murder helps.

Lilly,

Hang in there. This is the first part of your journey of separating from him emotionally. It hurts. As part of the healing, you may, or may not, need to (or be able to) find a suitable place for him in your memories, but for now it is sufficient to rejoice that he is in the past tense of your life.

This is a class of man that you can do completely without. (That half man, half boy, half way thing is so lame.) It is a pathology that does terrible things to women. It's too bad you had to learn this lesson in this way but you will heal.

I agree with Terminator

That's why I suggested
"Devine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood" in a post before

and of course there is "Lord of the Rings,"
"Stand By Me," "Alien 3," "Harry Potter"

Pick movies and books without romantic themes that you can loose yourself in.

Oh and here's the link to my story that you are in

way2

How did the call with his wife go? Did she really know about you?

You did the right thing...it hurts just remember you'll feel better in the long run after doing the right thing!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by forevertogether:
<strong> How did the call with his wife go? Did she really know about you?

You did the right thing...it hurts just remember you'll feel better in the long run after doing the right thing!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Forever-
When I called she was totally "matter-of-fact" and detached from what I was telling her! She explained that she was just now "immune" to it all! I asked if there was others and she was like "yeah, lets see.....there was Kristy & Connie".....just real sarcastic about it. (I called her twice!) The 2nd time she said she went to his work and confronted him and he looked her square in the eye and said he met me but we never slept together!!!.....OUCH!! Gald I am on my end and not hers-I keep trying to rememebr that! He told me he told her about me mid-summer and she said he never mentioned a word!
Interesting huh?
Thanks for asking!
Misslilly

When you meet the real Mr. Right (albeit, no-ones perfect), you will feel very good about it, and there will be no doubts that are like this situation.

It is natural to feel sad, but this too shall pass! And you will be so much more aware of what you truly want and need in a man. There are good ones out there.

Wflower-
Thanks...you are right on too. Hope you are having a good weekend.
Misslilly

Alternatively, can you go out of town? Better yet, any friends abroad you can visit? Nothing like downtown Tokyo to make you forget your troubles here.

A.M. Martin,

I just have to say I love your Bonhoeffer quote. (I'm a fan myself.)

Also, about the murder mysteries--I was an addict for a whole winter. I read all of Dorothy Sayers'--my across-the-street neighbor was my supplier. Totally absorbing, totally addictive.

Lilly, listen to her. That's what you need. Get absorbed. Now is the time to take up something you loved as a child (if you loved your art class, take an art class now, for example). Get in touch with yourself and making yourself feel good.