Heya, girl. Just read your recent post, and I'm wondering how you're doing. Here's a thread just for you. Please use it and talk to us. I hope you've gotten up enough courage to call Penny. If not, you're welcome to have some of mine. You're absolutely right that this is unbearably painful, and I want to see you end this pain in a way that will be best for you, for your husband and children, and for your affair partner.

Yes, even your affair partner! If you decide to be with him, the odds are that your relationship will end very soon thereafter, so he's going to be in a lot of pain either way. There are no painless ways out of this, unfortunately. There are only painful ways and hellacious ways.

You're in my prayers, girl.

HI Just J..

Well..Im not doing very well. I have not got the courage to call Penny yet. I am still heavy in my A. However, this week I am feeling really depressed about the A. I want to be with him so badly, however I am starting to think that our life would not be so perfect together. Too much baggage and two many struggles. I have decided to make a desicion either way soon. We are going to Disney World in 12 days and then there is Christmas. I think I will make a desicion right after that. I think it will be good for me to get away from OM for a while and focus on my M and my kids. I cant take the depression I get in to when I think about giving up OM. I cant function at work or at home when I think of that. How can I stop that depression without meds? Well..hope to talk to you in ladies chat tonight. Thanks for posting

meand, I think you're right that things might not work between you. (She said, heavy emphasis on the understatement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

I'm sorry I took so long to reply -- I missed your answer and just now found it. You're presumably at Disney now. I know how awful things get when you contemplate giving up OM. Please, meand, take the plunge and do it anyway. Your family needs you.

Speaking as a parent who's soloing with a baby this weekend, I've been in tears twice for the completely selfish reason that I'm tired and sick and I wanted this to be a fun weekend of Christmas shopping and making cookies with the baby and instead I've struggled just to make sure we were both fed and clothed.

People don't do well as single parents. Children don't thrive when raised by people who are single parents. So, if you wouldn't mind, please stick with your family so that your husband never has be the one who's sneezing and sniffling while one of the kids is crying and you're off on your own without either of them (whether with the OM or not). It's just not fair to anybody.