Just thought I'd post a message letting all of those who can remember me (I haven't posted much in the past six months), that I finally got divorced yesterday.

It wasn't the result I wanted, yet I was the one who filed because I wanted closure. I feel severely burned out and am not quite sure where I am emotionally right now. I do know that I am filled with a lot of anger towards my wife and loads of second guessing on my part. I have begun to see a counselor just this week to sort my feelings out.

Even through all of this, my wife has always been my best friend. I admit that at most times, she was able to intimidate me and this why our situation remained unchanged for almost three years.

I'll be perfectly fine financially and the settlement provides for the same custody arrangement as before. The real only difference is that we are no longer husband and wife.

AH,

I am sorry to hear of the divorce, but frankly it needed to be done. How are your daughters doing? Have they adjusted to this arrangement? How are they dealing with their mother and her "friend"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I am glad you have sought counseling. I would like to offer you a quote to consider " The best revenge is a life well lived."

AH live your life well, move on from this and enjoy your life and the new people that will enter it.

God Bless,

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just Learning:
<strong> AH,
How are your daughters doing? Have they adjusted to this arrangement? How are they dealing with their mother and her "friend"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My wife has done her best over the past two years to cover up her relationship since I blew the whistle. My oldest will be eighteen next April and is smart enough to see through everything. My youngest, 12, has fallen for my wife's damage control and now likes this OW again. I actually had the option of having a custody investigation which would have put everyone involved through very involved psychological evaluations. But I dropped this idea at the last minute because I don't believe it would have accomplished anything. Plus, my lawyer has also told me that I can bring up the issue again if my wife and her "friend" decide to co-habitate.

Looking back, I really which I was able to do a good Plan B. Anyone contemplating Plan B should always consult with an attorney first. I fell for my wofe's threats and gave in when I didn't really have to.

My wife's one real need from me was conversation. Even SH picked that up in the two sessions he had with here. Now that we are divorced, I can guarantee that is one need I will not be meeting.

Thanks for the advice, JL. I have heard that from other sources before. Now I just have to figure out how to follow it.

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Always Hopeful ]</small>

Always Hopeful,
I read something during the weekend from a paper

“When one door closes, another opens, but only if you are willing to close that first door, willing to let go but not to forgot" - Susan Farrell-

Read 'mommy house and dady house" and if your ex is still angry ... read "join custody with a jerk". Both book helps me a lot.

-rh-