What is the emotional state called infatuation and is it the cause of affairs?

HI there,

Well, if you go by what the dictionary says, Infatuate means:

_to cause to be foolish; deprive of sound judgment; to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration-

Sounds like there is DEFINITELY a connection between that feeling and affairs.As Dr.Phil says in his book: the first stage of love is infatuation and is not real love. I think this is what people feel is a true and abiding love but it is not. Because "it is humanly impossible to stay in that stage..." as Dr.Phil says, when love transmutes to a deeper love we think we have lost it or we are not "in love" anymore. Bullcookies!

It takes careful and skillful work to make another one feel "romantic" love for years and years and unless you are depositing those "love units" on a regular basis,we end up here, on this message board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

October

WFLOWER

Infatuation is part of the equation that leads to affair but another equally important part is not having emotional needs met. When a married person does not have their emotional needs met for a period of time (varies from person to person) they are more likely to have an affair. Emotional needs such as affection, conversation, honesty and openness, admiration and sexual fulfillment are needs that every person has.

Beau

It is well documented by researchers such as Shirley Glass that a BS can be having all of their needs met at home, yet still go for an affair. And of course, once youve got yourself an affair partner, you will be spreading the needs/met/given ratio pretty thin for your spouse.

But, about the infatuation. It is an illusive yet desirable kind of feeling. We like the little high that it kind of jolts through you. You get an excitement that you don't feel each day when you have infatuation.

The definition is true, but I think much more goes into it, and the mechanics of an affair situation, seems to require this infatuation. Otherwise, one would not go there.

Can a sound of mind individual fall entrapped in it? Or can someone start out in infatuation and be lead into love feelings?

I think of infatuation as being the feelings we had as teenagers, dating. Maybe a little of that was at the start of the marriage relationship. But there was more stock in the reality end of the spectrum there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />