I am getting ready to go into plan B in about 1 1/2 weeks. I know that there needs to be no contact, but I'm a little concerned about one particular thing that might occur.

My Husband and his OW's relationship right now is very strained. She is pregnant, and from the sound of it is having a very difficult pregnancy, and miscarriage seems likely. I think there is a very stong possibility if she miscarries she will break things off with him.

My dilemma is that I know if that happens he is going to be devistated, he will feel like all the stress killed his baby. He really truly doesn't have anyone around here that he can talk to. I know, tell him to go to a counselor but the truth is he probably won't. I don't know if he would contact me, but because we are still very close I think there's a chance he might.

What I'm wondering is, in this particular situation, would it be okay to talk to him and give him emotional support? I understand that Plan B means NO CONTACT but if this happens, and it seems like it's a strong possibility, I'm very concerned he will have to cope with it on his own. Worse, if he does contact me how can I tell him in this one situation that he needs to respect the Plan B letter? This is pretty much the only time that I would break from Plan B, and it wouldn't be an ongoing thing, I just don't know if I could turn my back on him in what would be pretty much the worst time in his life.

Sio - Plan B is for when you've had enough and are starting to lose your love. It sounds like you should be in Plan A still. It has not been very long since you found out. Don't go to Plan B until you absolutely have to. Also don't go into it thinking you would still like to have contact. That being said, I have lots of sympathy with anyone facing a miscarriage. I had one 23 years ago right before I got PG with my oldest son. It was awful. It is not only the loss of the baby, but also the loss of your hopes and dreams. I still think about it to this day. I hope your H and OW don't have to go through this. However you need to take care of you. There is nothing you can do to help. Stay in Plan A, and if H comes to you, be supportive because it is a very sad thing. To me you are a very good woman, and you deserve much more than this. Keep posting and let us know what is happening.

Plan B means no contact, and that is especially true of emotional support during that time. Could you postpone your entry into Plan B until things settle (or way or another)? That way, if you're still in Plan A and she miscarries, you can provide the support he needs without going against the 'no contact' premise of Plan B, and being hypocritical.

But you post a great question. Why not post it on the Plan A/Plan B board? And while you're at it, the Pregnancy/Child board too. There are plenty of people there who've been through the added stress of OW pregnancies.

Thanks for your responses <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I'm not sure now that it's time for Plan B, unfortunately my Plan B is a cross country move and because of that it's already been set into motion. It is time to go as far as the marriage is concerned, the only reason I feel it's not the right time is that I'm concerned about my husband having to deal with this on his own. That is the only reason I'm having doubts.

There is another factor I have to consider, the OW has made threats against me, and blames me for her current situation (her pregnancy being in trouble, her relationship with my husband falling apart). I understand that a miscarriage is an extremely painful thing to have to go through, and that if it happens she will be an emotional wreck. Given that she blames me for everything I truly fear she will do something to hurt me. A large part of the reason I'm leaving now is I don't want to have to worry every time I open my front door there's a crazy woman on the other side with a hand gun.

I also feel that the best chance of saving my marriage is to leave now. We're getting along pretty good right now, he's starting to have regrets, his relationship with his OW is falling apart, he's starting to act like his old self. He's starting to depend on me while i'm here now to listen and be a shoulder to cry on. He wants to see if things will work out with this OW, he still doesn't want to try to save the marriage, but I think leaving now is the best chance I have of making him see what he is loosing.

I do understand what you both are saying about giving emotional support while in Plan B. Probably not a good idea <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . Hopefully it won't even come up, if she does miscarry and leave him he probably won't want to burden me with it, and will respect my Plan B letter. If it does happen though, and he calls me I'm just not sure how to deal with it. Ignoring him in his pain just seems like it would cause even more pain, and would make it seem like I'm unsympathetic and maybe even spiteful. I just don't see any delicate way of handling it if it comes up.