Hello all.

I have a court date on Friday, Divorce decree will be drawn up and if he agrees to everything, which I'm 100% sure he will, it will be final on friday.

Spoke to him last monday when I found out, and I've realized that he is SO full of SH*T! LOL I'm sorry guys but he hasn't changed, doesn't want to change, and not ready to change. So, my 5 year marriage/ 12 year relationship with this man is over. I've accepted it and am going to move forward. I've asked that we not talk to each other. I just want to be left alone and not have to deal with him anymore. I need to totally detach from him.

On the brighter side of things, I've started looking into buying a home for me and the kids and I'm very excited about that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I hope I can get through Friday ok. I'm just afraid that I'll start crying in the courtroom. Please pray for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I loved this man very much but, the level of love for him has dramaticly decreased over the year. It just makes me sad for the kids and also what could have been. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Oh well.......that chapter in my life will end on friday and a new one will begin. Life goes on. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for all the help.

STBXwife,

Hi, have you and WH been separated all this time? If so, has he even missed his kids at all?

My WH is beginning to realize the consequences of his decisions to be apart from his kids and it may be beginning to wear him down and make him think twice. Then again, maybe not.

I'm the one that filed, but am 2nd guessing my decision to go thru w/it, at least as the petitioner.

Hope the new chapter in your new life will be a better one. Good luck.

FF

Yup, seperated since november of last year. Does he miss his kids? He says he does. But who really knows. His daughter, now 9 months old, doesn't even know him and cries when he holds her. It's pretty sad but he chooses this life.

Once in a while he talks about reconciling but its all talk. I know he has regret and there's still more to come if I ever remarry. But he says he's just gonna have to deal with it.

well best of luck.

I'm just past 8 months since dday when my WW left to continue her affair.

I'm starting to feel sad at the reality that in a few months my divorce will be in full motion.

again all the best.

STBXwife,

Sorry to hear WH is still being so selfish, and cold. It's tough as h---. I can barely make it each day.

I just spoke w/my WH. He told me he fired his atty. cuz their not doing a good job. It seemed like it to me. He did hire a new one, so he says. It's a female.

Good luck and stay strong.

FF

I'm so truly sorry to hear that you've come down to the last stage of your marriage. I'm feeling sad and sometimes overwhelmed over the fact that I was the one who had to file for D. I'm sure you are like me and never saw yourself in this position.

I often wonder if our WS's are suffering over their poor decisions. Do they have regrets? Don't they know what a blessed family they already have?

I am feeling like you at this point. I am looking forward. Looking at the possibility of moving into a new house w/ a fresh start. The difference w/ me currently is that I am only in the beginning stages of this horrible mess.

I know you will be stronger in the end and your WH will have major regrets. How have you grown during this process? Looking back, what can you tell me about you and the positive steps you've made during this mess?

Have I grown through all this!?!

YES, definately. I know I've grown to be more patient.

I've learned that you can't take what you have for granted.

I know this sound strange, me going through a divorce and all, but I think I know now what it takes to make a marriage work now.

Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work, by both husband and wife.

And the most important thing I've learned about WS's and A's is that it's not about YOU. It's all about THEM. The A is all about THEM and their issues and has nothing to do with YOU. I'm not saying that I didn't have some sort of fault in not meeting my WH's needs but it was his choice to go out and have an A. So this gives me some sort of peace knowing that it's not about ME. He has issues he has to deal with and they just don't disappear when you change partners.