Hello Everyone:


Before I begin, I like to thank everyone who has replied to my posting last week:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=025699

Now, Here is my circumstances: My wife says she has absolutely no contact with OM and she doesn't see him any more. I know it is all lies! And I can't trust her anymore.

I have told her to look for a job and help us financially, she has never worked since we have got married 11 years ago. the kids are 9 & 6 and both are in school until 3:30 PM.
She says she cleans the home and does the lundry which I admit she does But what about the rest of the time?
The other man is always around in the day time also !
I am lost and confused! I don't Know how to carry on knowing that she has cheated on me and still does repeatedly But she is in absolute denial!
She says I am thinking the worse thoughts and nothing is going on despite of the fact I caught them on the phone and he waiting for her at the bottom of our drive way at 11:30 at night!

What do I do here? How do I proceed with someone who is in denial and Unfaithful.
I have come to terms and admit That there is nothing I could do for these two from seeing each other or talking to each.

Money wise , I can't afford to go to plan B because I have no where to go to since I am the only bread winner in the house. I got to pay all the bills & the mortgage & Car payment .... and I can't afford to move out.
She says she looking for a job but with the economy being slow here there are no job openings and I just don't know what to do here?

I would be greatful for your guidence and comments to help me out of this BLACK HOLE!

I am sorry If I sound like a cry baby but I need help and I don't Know which way to go.

My thinking & thoughts are like a never ending Loop or Cycle that revolves around divorcing her or staying with her for the sake of the kids.

If You want to have more understanding of my case please read my first posting At :

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=025699


Thank you very much for reading.
Sincerely
Hate my Life

I highly recommend that you consider counseling with Penny R Tupy from Save Your Marriage Central . Penny is our resident MB coach with the username of Cerri who hangs out at the Just Found Out forum. You might want to start a thread asking for her help.

Thank you coffee man but she does not want to even read this site let alone consuling!
I am just alone on this one I guess!
Thank you though!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ihatemylife:
... I can't afford to go to plan B because I have no where to go to since I am the only bread winner in the house. I got to pay all the bills & the mortgage & Car payment .... and I can't afford to move out.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">as the betrayed spouse, you are NOT to leave your home. IF you move to plan B, you will be asking her to leave your home. how she accomplishes this is her responsibility.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">... She says she looking for a job but with the economy being slow here there are no job openings and I just don't know what to do here?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">as the holidays approach, there must be more than one local retailer looking for people to fill temporary positions. no matter how slow the economy, people still shop for others at the holidays and those places need bodies to handle it all. she's justifying her behavior.

i'll check out your other thread.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. ~Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

<small>[ November 18, 2003, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: whippit ]</small>

Ihatemylife;

I think I remember you stating they were BOTH stay at home parents, which is somewhat like working together, huh! They're so many temporary agencies looking for office temporary help and like whippit stated not to mention the holiday season, the stores will need extra help! I do agree YOU should not leave or enable her to continue her addiction.

I can hear your desperation in your words, and I sincerely wish you luck in the pursuit finding your WS work, maybe even looking for her, that way there is NO excuse.

Just my opinion
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />