OK.. last nite we had our 3rd MC session. I want to give you guys a small glimpse of what happened and get your feedback.

During our last 2 sessions, one of the things I bought up was the fact that my H would use things that I tell him as a weapon against me at a later time. (IE, one time I was angry with my mother and I felt that she has always prefered my younger sister to myself. She would do things for my sister that she wouldn't do for me.. About 2 wks later my mother called me and needed my help with something and I helped her. He used that opportunity to say... See, you always help your mother, why doesn't she call your sister). That's just one example, but he does that time and time again. It got so bad that I stopped sharing things with him because I knew that he would throw it back in my face at some point. He promised to work on it.

So last night, we were meeting with the MC and he bought something up that reminded that he had recently did the samething. It wasn't that big of a deal to me, but he gets PISSED during the session. Stands up and goes "This is Bullsh*t, i'm leaving." He gets up and walks out of the room, and goes down to the car. He got so angry that the Therapist goes... are you ok to be in the same car with him? I was so angry and embarrased.

Why even bother with MC and he doesn't want to hear or can't except what i'm saying??????

Oh I agree that it is pointless to continue to go to MC if he is not willing to hear some constructive criticism. This is not to tear him down and blame him for every ill in the marriage, but to point out to him how hurtful to you was this particular kind of behavior on his part. Ask him how can any woman want to be sexually intimate with a man who engages in this type of behavior? and then leave him alone to digest the question.

The ironic thing is that once we get home, he expects me to forget it and move on and wants to kiss and makeup and can't understand why I am not in the mood....

Have you 'kiss and make up'? I ask because if you have, then he's not going to take seriously your complaints regarding his bad behavior. I'm not saying you should lash out against him, but express to him what I said in my previous post, and advice him that your constructive criticisms of him are NOT to hurt him but to help him by making him attractive to you emotionally AND physically.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by T00MuchCoffeeMan:
<strong> Have you 'kiss and make up'? I ask because if you have, then he's not going to take seriously your complaints regarding his bad behavior. I'm not saying you should lash out against him, but express to him what I said in my previous post, and advice him that your constructive criticisms of him are NOT to hurt him but to help him by making him attractive to you emotionally AND physically. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No... And I did explain to him exactly how what he did made me feel.

Good, now hopefully he'll take you seriously. Before you 'kiss and make up' you should ask him what steps is he going to take to start changing his bad behavior. Since he has a problem with handling angry outbursts you may want to consider suggesting to him that a good way to start is for him to take an anger management class. I took one a few years ago prior to my divorce and it helped me tremendously to constructively deal with my situation with my XWW(first W). I hope this helps.

<small>[ November 19, 2003, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>