Dear Forever:

A number of things concerned me about you when reading your post:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> don't want to come across as a money hungry blood thirsty witch.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How could ever feel that way about yourself if only asking what is rightfully yours and due to you? You are the one being wronged here. Remember your husband is living with another woman.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WH handed phone to our 3y/o DD whose first words were Hi OW's name, I mean mom. I was stunned to say the least, but put it past me since she is only 3 and it was honest mistake. Nonetheless, it didn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside either.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please don't take this lightly. This is awful for you and your little girl to be having such confusion. I don't think this is a mistake a 3 year old should be making. I think she is disturbed by the situation that she is being placed in and I would begin to think twice about allowing her to stay there. My opinion....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hope my kids enjoy it like they do their kitty at my house.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why did you say this? Why do you think your children could be enjoying the situation that they are being placed in. Separation is considered a major trauma for children. They are not only dealing with that but also spending the weekend in a home with the OW and her children. How confusing for them? What about the immoratlity of this for them? Are they to believe that what is going on between your WH and the OW is like a marriage. It's crazy-making for anyone to try to make them think such a thing. I'm really feeling bad for your children. You can tell.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">One of the friends that I went out with Sat. night knows about this website, and just from us talking and him visiting the site, he saw a post and knew immediately it was me. If he could identify my code name, should I start to decrease and limit the details that I write on my posts so WH does not discover my code name?

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not understanding why you are not being more careful about who you are talking to about this serious chapter in your life. These issues are too significant and important to share with just anyone. Most people can't possibly understand what you are going through and what you are facing. Some folks simply want to be nosy and to spread gossip. This can end up being a big LB to you if your WH finds out that you are sharing too much with folks who are not close friends and family. I understand that you may be anxious and needy. Please be careful in order to protect yourself, your family and your marriage. I wouldn't trust this person. How could someone know who you are with your name of FOREVER?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I want WH to come to the site, but am not ready for him to know and see what I write here. Any suggestions </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why do you want your WH to come to this site? Right now, the MB principles are for you. This is a support system for you. Remember focus in on yourself.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WH was crying again </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He has a lot to cry about. Good!

I guess that's it for now. I'm worried about your thinking on this. Your WH seems to have such a long way to go. This stuff takes TIME AND PATIENCE. I've been where you are, Forever. I know how much you want your life back. It takes TIME...

[

<small>[ December 15, 2003, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Faith,

I know I did the right thing. I am beginning to really wonder if WH has seen my posts and is just testing me on my ability to make my own decisions w/o asking others for advice.

Why? crying

When I asked him if he will be okay, He said he is never okay when he drops off the kids. I think it is because he appears to miss the kids so much, but I think I need to just ask him bluntly sometime, why he is crying, what is making him cry and how is he feeling about the kids and everything. I guess I may be too afraid at this time to hear the answers. I just can't believe that all his crying is just because he misses his kids (which he didn't spend much time w/before and doesn't sound like he is spending loads more of time w/them now when he has them). I just think there is more reasons behind his crying and feelings than JUST missing the kids.

Dont' get me wrong, I'm not trying to read or plant hope in it for me. It is just that I have known this man for so many years and his track record w/the kids does not support the actions I'm seeing from him now. There is something more to it, but I don't know what.


Does he have vacation available? Don't feel guilty. You did the right thing.

He did not say one way or the other, but as of 2 months ago, he had almost 2 weeks worth. I highly doubt he has burned all of it when he rarely did so before.

Not bad. Hold your ground and stick to your boundaries.

Good, I'm glad it didn't appear desperate to you. Boundaries??? I'm not even sure I have set any and know I have to. I have not made that PLAN OF ACTION w/boundaries set yet, like I believe it was you or Mimi1254 said to do. I'm not sure what boundaries others have set in their situations. Do you mean, amount of visitation I'm willing to give beyond the minimum state requirement, if I'm willing to bend on CS, and the driving for visitation, and for him to NC OW b/4 working on our M????

Are these such boundaries as you and others have mentioned that I should figure out and set?

What meeting is this? Have you thought about giving him the letter prior to the meeting?

The meeting is my anger mgmt. class. I have been wondering about when to give him the letter. I also have thought about inviting WH to my church w/me and kids this next week for the church's Christmas service. The kids will be in w/me but not up on stage. No kids program is planned, so then it may appear that I'm just doing it to do it.

I also have to finish editing the letter yet. I will make sure I get that done tonight, and post it one last time b/4 giving it whenever I do.

Thanks again,
FF

Forever:

Did you read my post?

Mimi1254,

How could ever feel that way about yourself if only asking what is rightfully yours and due to you?

Because WH thinks I'm going after all I can get cuz I requested SM.

Please don't take this lightly. This is awful for you and your little girl to be having such confusion. I don't think this is a mistake a 3 year old should be making. I think she is disturbed by the situation that she is being placed in and I would begin to think twice about allowing her to stay there. My opinion....

I guess I didn't think of it that way, but it may be something to be concerned about.

Hope my kids enjoy it like they do their kitty at my house. Why did you say this? Why do you think your children could be enjoying the situation that they are being placed in.

I soley meant enjoying the chance to have a puppy. That is it. I know for a fact that they are not enjoying being placed in this situation.

I'm not understanding why you are not being more careful about who you are talking to about this serious chapter in your life. These issues are too significant and important to share with just anyone.

This person has been through a divorce themselves and is finding out as time goes on, that their spouse had at least an EA and possibly a PA. This person has also been there for me quite a bit and does not even know my WH.
Also, they figured it out just from the talks we have had with one another.


Why do you want your WH to come to this site? Right now, the MB principles are for you. This is a support system for you. Remember focus in on yourself.

I would like for him to see from FWH's as well as FWW's what he thinks is real is just the FOG and to see what intense pain formers had caused their families and how the whole A and situation destroys what family they have left. Mainly just to open his eyes to the light of truth. Also maybe so he could gain support for where to begin to go NC w/OW. That's about it.

I know to focus on myself. That is why maybe I need to start limiting my time of being on the website to just once per day at night after kids are in bed. Just a thought.

I'm worried about your thinking on this. Your WH seems to have such a long way to go.

I'm okay. If my WH's crying is really genuine missing the kids and guilt, and not an act, then I am becoming increasingly worried about his emotional well-being. Any suggestions? Should I approach him about my concerns. In person/email??

Thanks,
FF

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by foreverfaithful:
<strong> If my WH's crying is really genuine missing the kids and guilt, and not an act, then I am becoming increasingly worried about his emotional well-being. Any suggestions? Should I approach him about my concerns. In person/email??</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've been a recovering co-dependent for 16 years. I started working on FOO issues back then, but the training has worked well for marital issues too.

I recommend researching for the 180 degree approach that several people have posted about. You've been in knock-down-drag-out battles with your husband. That's allowed him to control the relationship by going into withdrawl with this OW. keep in mind that the person who cares the least about a relationship has the power in that relationship.

The 180 approach allows you to be gracious, fun to be around, but very different than someone BEGGING to not have someone leave her. In 180, you have a life; you are focused, you are extremely attractive, but not being offered without an investment on his part.

Codependency is your biggest problem right now, because you want to rescue him from his tears. Or you want to rejoice that he's crying. Either response feeds his control of least-caring.

FF, What would you do and how would you proceed in your life, if you knew that you were deserving of honor, respect, and faithfulness? Would you give those to yourself? Would you allow yourself more than a passing glance at an individual or family member who did not consider you deserving of such treatment? No need for anger, or pleading out of fear of loss.

Good luck, Kayla
**********************
The worst has already happened. The best could yet be. But it is entirely up to me.
Carpe Diem

Kayla,

What does the acronym FOO stand for? I haven't seen this one before. And how does it apply to marital issues?


I recommend researching for the 180 degree approach that several people have posted about.

I have researched this and have the list. I have been doing the majority of the items listed since the end of October about. There are a few of the major ones that I slipped on so far, but am at that point where I may need to concentrate on those ones harder.


keep in mind that the person who cares the least about a relationship has the power in that relationship.

This seems to be so incredibly true It is scary. I believe it wholeheartedly. Thanks for reminding me.

Would you allow yourself more than a passing glance at an individual or family member who did not consider you deserving of such treatment? No need for anger, or pleading out of fear of loss.

Very true Kayla. I will keep working at that philosophy and on myself and kids. Thanks again.

FF

FOO= Family of origin....

I know where Kayla's coming from. There were alot of FOO issues in my relationship also and the old behaviors still manifest themselves every so often.

Usually, we recognize them but I know now to take a step back and analyze the situation when I'm feeling increasingly frustrated with a particular situation.

I was gonna get out the MB 2X4 .... but, I guess I don't have to ... you did the right thing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

CS is for the kids and therefore it is morally wrong of you to agree to reduce the CS in order to make your WH more financially comfortable. It's NOT your money, it's the kids' money.

If you ever get asked this question again .....

"This money is for our children's needs. I cannot reduce their needs, therefore the CS cannot be reduced." ....... then smile and bat your eyelashes.

Pep

PS..... you done good.... woman!

Thanks Faith for clarifying the FOO. I don't know of any issues in WH FOO, or mine really. The only thing that was an issue in mine was my dad was a recovering alcoholic and WH's dad stopped same issue on his own. But other than that, I don't know of any other issues, if those are the types of issues you guys were talking about.


Pepperband,

Thanks for no 2x4. The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a bad idea to reduce. WH has to feel the full consequences of his choices and new life that he believes he wants.

I don't know if you have been following this post for a while or not, but what are your updated opinions on how I am handling things and my approaches? I can probably figure that you think I should be in Plan B, but other than exchanging the kids, I feel I am.

Later,
FF

These are definately the words of a woman who is focusing on her self.

Congratulations! Keep up the good work!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WH has to feel the full consequences of his choices and new life that he believes he wants. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Faith, thanks for the congrats.

All members,

Here is a letter that I plan to send to WH. It is not meant as strictly a Plan B letter, but rather to let him know where I stand on our relationship and our future. I would sort of label it as my last farewell discussion about our future. I would like to send it this week, but may wait if it needs more rework. Please let me know your opinions. I tried taking out as many "we's" as I felt I could w/o changing the intended message.


Dear WH,

Since you left 4 1/2 months ago, I have experienced undoubtedly the most difficult time of my life. It has been difficult facing the possibility of life without you. Today, December 4th, of all days, I suddenly found the tape of our wedding day in my hands and before I knew it the tape was playing in the VCR. I’ve watched this same tape before, but for many reasons, this time meant something different. Instead of joyous emotions, it brought me to my knees in prayer, tears to my eyes and placed a 100lb. weight on my heart. As I reflect on our first few years together, I’m reminded that you asked me to marry you of your own free will. It was a decision you made on your own which I lovingly accepted. I remember something we had in common when we first met at the Hoist that cold January 24th day. It was the small fact that I and (if I remember correctly, you also) had recently stopped looking for that special person in our life. I also find it very powerful in knowing that from among all of the boy/girlfriend relationships we both had prior to us meeting each other, the friendship/courtship that we developed first before we consummated our love is the one relationship for both of us (I believe) that developed into the strong emotional loving bond and committment that brings a man and a woman to want to marry and spend the rest of their lives loving each other. Over the years, it is certainly normal that we have evolved into different people than we were when we married. However, this is all part of growing up, changing and growing differently together. I had no idea of the profound effect and change that becoming a mother would have on me until I gave birth to our 1st born. Just as I understand that you may not have had any idea of how much you would dislike being a manager until you found yourself knee deep in it (if this is still the way you feel about it today). I am aware that I can no more expect you to come back into this relationship than I could have made you marry me. As I expressed a few weeks ago, I now know that filing for the divorce was a mistake simply because that is not what I wanted – not then, now or ever. Rather than consulting with my heart, conscience and with God, I got scared in response to your telling me we are getting a divorce and very angry and hurt with me being arrested that I hastily made a decision that at the time I believed was for the best. Best for whom I later asked myself; the kids? me?, you? For Whom? So, as far as that end goes you should know that I will no longer initiate anything in that direction. If our marriage is to follow that fatal path, then the decision rests solely on your shoulders and is between you and God. In these past 4 months I have re-connected my relationship with God to such a deeper level than I have ever experienced. Based on that, I know that if I am forced to and/or if it is God’s will, I can walk away from you having a sense of peace just knowing that I (am fighting)/fought for us and our marriage even against all odds, under life’s most unbearable circumstances and with such an unconditional love for you that no man or woman could have ever asked for more in a spouse. I admit that this entire experience has been a very painful lesson for me, one of which I have learned a great deal from. It is often said that God sometimes takes extreme measures to get a person’s attention. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s been trying to get my attention. I strongly believe that this attempt to get my attention goes way back to February 27th, the day I woke up telling you of the weird dream I had only to find out minutes later it was no dream, but actually a nightmare which was just beginning. I have also learned that God often comes to us in our dreams. I wish that I had discovered God more intimately and Marriagebuilders.com back in February. I truly believe with all of my heart that it would have saved us both from a lot of the additional pain we are now experiencing and will experience in the future. I believe this time is meant to be a healing time for both of us. I will continue to pray for you daily Paul and will trust God to bless us all with wisdom, patience, courage and strength, and to guide us in the direction of the path he, (not you) has chosen for us all. Please note that this letter may be the last you hear from me on the fate of our marriage. I will no longer talk about us and what the future holds for us, until such time that you choose to approach me. With all of my heart, soul, and Love, your wife.

Hi foreverfaithful,

Quite a while back, you asked me to look at your situation and post to you. I did the first part but not the second...why?

I felt you were already getting great advice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Furthermore, I believe in the "too many cooks" when it comes to MB. I've seen differing opinions either confuse the original poster, or turn into a battle of "who's right"! Besides which, there are simply too many sad new situations and not enough people to go around giving support and encouragement. (You are very fortunate in your extremely supportive "coaches"!)

Having said all that, why am I here now? Because you've been getting such great advice...and now you post this letter. (Again, if I'm not mistaken...it looks familiar.)

I don't understand it. Therefore I've decided to chime in to try and reinforce what others have said...perhaps a bit more forcefully.

foreverfaithful: why are you sending this letter?

What do you hope his reaction will be? Do you believe he is crying because he spends his time obsessing about what you are feeling? That he worries excessively about how you are doing?

What's the best reaction you hope to get from him with this letter? What's the worst reaction you fear you'll get as a result?

Do you think this letter will make him see the light, dump OW and return to you? Is that (light-dump-return) your bottom line goal? If not, what is your goal?

awed

FF:

I feel it may be just a bit long and sometimes you overexplain a couple of things.

I'll pop back in later to see if I can help you with an edit.

In the meantime, theser are good questions from Awed:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What do you hope his reaction will be? Do you believe he is crying because he spends his time obsessing about what you are feeling? That he worries excessively about how you are doing?

What's the best reaction you hope to get from him with this letter? What's the worst reaction you fear you'll get as a result?

Do you think this letter will make him see the light, dump OW and return to you? Is that (light-dump-return) your bottom line goal? If not, what is your goal?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would hope that your intent in writing and sending the letter is for yourself so that you can truly let go and move on. It's ok to hope, however if your expectation or intent is to provoke some kind of response from him, I'm afraid you're probably not ready to send this type of a letter.

Be back in a bit.

<small>[ December 17, 2003, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: Faith1960 ]</small>

Awed and Faith,

Thanks for your input. Why do I want to send the letter? I did omit a few sentences from it to shorten it since I posted it. Other than to express my feelings for him one last time before I majorly continue to focus and move on for me and my kids, I don't know why.

Faith had mentioned the last time I posted the same but edited letter about a week 1/2 ago, that I will need to send it sooner or later.

What do you hope his reaction will be? Do you believe he is crying because he spends his time obsessing about what you are feeling? That he worries excessively about how you are doing?

Frankly, I don't have any expectations of any response whatsoever; mainly because he hasn't reflected and responded to the other discussion I've had with him (only that he doesn't think he can come back). I just want to let him know how I feel. You are most likely right in that it will serve no purpose, therefore don't send it. I honestly do not know what or how if anything at all he feels about me. There, yet another reason probably that I would be wasting my time again. I don't know if it is just my wishful thinking but something tells me that there is more to it behind his crying than just missing the kids, cuz he didn't seem to care about the kids nearly this much before the A.

What's the best reaction you hope to get from him with this letter? What's the worst reaction you fear you'll get as a result?

If I hope for any reaction, the best would be that he would put divorce on hold and just remain separated. Worst reaction would be that it may turn him off if I look like I'm still pursuing. Doing nothing or at least waiting for more concrete signs of FOG lifting and more of them would probably be best.

Do you think this letter will make him see the light, dump OW and return to you? Is that (light-dump-return) your bottom line goal? If not, what is your goal?

I guess with the holidays and all I thought it may trigger at least something if not light, but again no expectations. I do not expect him to dump OW as a reaction at this time. No, the Light-dump-return is not a bottom line goal now, but rather just food for thought on how I feel.

Well, I also prayed about whether to send it or not, and maybe I am receiving my answers through MB members. Thanks for being honest and forthcoming with your comments and concerns. Maybe I again should put it on hold for a while still.

FF

Forever:

I've been posting to you so faithfully because I can really relate to you. I had a CODEPENDENT relationship with my FWH for many reasons not necessary for me to explain. The other posters have also tried to help you to see tne need to focus in on yourself. It seems that it is difficult for you to understand the importance of that in working on not only on your marriage but also on yourself.

I will make this post very simple and I encourage you to listen. I almost did not post back to you because I had so many concerns about the letter as others have already noted. This letter is not the answer for you as much as you may want it to be. Your WH will not get it at this point. He is IN A FOG. He remains ADDICTED to another woman. You cannot rescue him from that. He has to do it on his own. That's what makes you CODEPENDENT., trying to rescue you him. Take care of yourself. That will make you more attractive to him. Please try to read books like LOVE MUST BE TOUGH and CODEPENDENT NO MORE and LOVE IS A CHOICE. OK. I was more wordy than I planned to be.

This is the simple statement that I wanted to make. Simply FOLLOW THE MB PRINCIPLES! Work on YOUR PLAN , in other words PLAN A or begin PLAN B. If you decide on Plan B, write a PLAN B LETTER as instructed by MB. The MB principles work. At least, they did for me. I thought my marriage would never be recovered. It's better now than I ever dreamed it would be.

Take care.

FF:

Here is a (suggested) edited letter. Much shorter and less emotional. No need to try and express how you feel, because deep down, he knows. I deleted your references your first born, his feelings, and MB. For some reason they're coming across as a manipulative attempt to trigger or provoke a response from him.

Best off when doing this type of letter is not to give too much information or show all your cards. The intent of this type of letter (not unlike a plan B letter) is to show him just a few of your cards (your personal change) set your boundaries (Plan B), and throw the ball into his court so he can make the next move (Give it up to God).

It's ok to hope for a positive reaction, but the expectation has to be one that you are confident that God will guide you moving forward, and you will accept the outcome, regardless.

Good Luck.

Since you left 4 1/2 months ago, I have undoubtedly experienced the most difficult time of my life with the ending of our marriage. Recently, I watched the tape of our wedding day and instead of the joyous emotion, it brought me to my knees in prayer, tears to my eyes and placed a 100lb. weight on my heart. As I reflect on our first few years together, I'm reminded that you asked me to marry you of your own free will. It was a decision you made on your own which I lovingly accepted. I remember when we first met at the Hoist that cold day, thinking, isn't it ironic when you stop looking for that one special person in your life, they magically appear?

While it's normal for people to grow and change over the years, I never expected that we would grow apart. Moreover, I had no idea of the profound effect and change that becoming a mother would have on me. In retrospect, I now know that filing for the divorce was a mistake simply because that is not what I wanted – not then, now or ever. Rather than consulting with my heart, conscience and with God, I hastily made a decision that at the time I believed was for the best. You should know that I will no longer initiate anything in that direction. So, as far as that end goes If our marriage is to follow that fatal path, then the decision rests solely on your shoulders and is between you and God.

I admit that this entire experience has been a very painful lesson for me, one of which I have learned a great deal from. It is often said that God sometimes takes extreme measures to get a person’s attention. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s been trying to get my attention for a long time now. Since I have re-connected my relationship with God to a level that is deeper than I have ever experienced, I can now find peace knowing that against all odds, under life’s most unbearable circumstances and with such an unconditional love He will take care of us all.

I am aware that I can no more expect you to come back into this relationship than I could have made you marry me. I remain open to reconciliation as I have often discussed, because I believe this time apart is meant to be a healing time for both of us. If you choose not to reconcile however, I will understand that is your choice, and God's will and I will be cooperative with you and contact you only on issues regarding the children.

In the meantime, I ask God for help in guiding me, giving me patience and courage to not worry about what's ahead. We’ve shared some wonderful times together as a family. I treasure these memories and now look forward to the future either way. I will continue to pray for you and trust that God will also guide all of us in what we do.
Always and God Bless,

FF

Mimi & Faith,

Thanks. I know I should not send it, at least while he is still in the fog. I know you both must want to get the MB 2x4 out for me, but my head knows what needs to be done, but my heart keeps trying to overrule my head. I have been working on myself and kids more and more every day. It seems that for every step I take in a positive direction, I let my feelings and emotions trip my next few steps.

Thank you so much for waking me up and picking me up after this latest stumble. I'm certainly glad that I have you great coaches to bounce my stubbornness and weaknesses off of before taking the real plunge of sending it.

Thank you Faith for the editing job; it definitely reads as me being a stronger person than the needy person I made myself out to sound.

That is it, I know I will not send it, HA, HA.. just like the last time I posted it. Maybe based on my future posts as to my progress and WH's behavior, you may be able to tell when I should send it if at all. Believe it or not, sooner rather than later, I will get it.

Thanks for the awesome coaching. Take care,

FF

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know I should not send it, at least while he is still in the fog. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This letter has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. And you are correct! You should not send it while YOU are still in the fog.

Everyday you are getting stronger. But deep down you are still holding on to an outcome that you have no control over.

Remember when you stopped looking for that special person in your life and how it just happened?? Same situation here. Stop trying to control something you have no control over. You have nothing to lose by sending the letter now or later. You've already lost your H to OW so you can't lose him again. It remains to be seen however if he will return home.

IMHO, I think the letter is a step in the right direction, but YOU must not be in the fog when you send it and you must be fully prepared to accept the consequence of your decision. For example: he may just go ahead and file for divorce.

Got it?

Talk to you soon!

Faith,

Yes, I am getting stronger, but You are so right about the deeper feeling of hanging on.

Remember when you stopped looking for that special person in your life and how it just happened??

I get it. Stop pursuing and if it's meant to be then he will return on his own free will just as he left.

but YOU must not be in the fog when you send it and you must be fully prepared to accept the consequence of your decision.

I think deep down, I knew I was in the fog yet and would expect a positive response. This is what makes this board so great; being able to bounce ideas off of experienced members.

Thank you again and I am sorry if I drove you nuts today with this whole letter fiasco. I am back on track.

FF

I understand because I've been through it. I guess that's why I get so frustrated with you. I can see you making my mistakes and now want to rescue you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I always used to come back on this board and say:

I'M GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE! That's what you've done. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ December 18, 2003, 07:37 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>