Mimi,

THanks for understanding. Now that I'm back on the horse, can you see any other mistakes that I am currently making? I know I should be in a strict Plan B probably, but due to no mutual close enough friends or relatives who would be willing to exchange kids and pertinent info for us, and also for the fact that it seemed to backfire on me in August, I'm not currently Plan B strictly.

I did have a rough emotional time by myself after dropping kids off at WH house last night, so therefore when he brought them home later, I went outside to receive the last kid at the last minute and did not communicate w/WH. He just drove off as usual, very slow these days.

Again, thanks and I will try and stick to MB principles. They do seem logical when I let my own logic speak and listen to them.

FF

Nothing new really on my end. I am beginning to shop for a new counselor. I would like to find a christian based one, but may not find that feature as my insurance is limited.


I would really like it if I could afford the harleys, but just cannot financially swing it at this point. Maybe as someone suggested a while back is to save up for their services.

Still working on me and kids.

FF

<small>[ December 19, 2003, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: foreverfaithful ]</small>

No. While you hope the exit interview is a positive thing, I think it has the potential to open up a whole new can of worms where H is concerned.

-For example, he may feel trapped/manipulated by your invitation.

-He may not feel the same way as you about the changes you've made.

You need to let H go. Do not initiate contact. Do not attempt to manipulate a situation when you do have contact.

If relationship with H is meant to be, then it will come about on its own.

Peace.

Faith,

I kind of thought so.

I'm taking kids to a holiday parade tonight, which has lots of lights and neat floats. Should be fun for them, hopefully.

FF

Well, I found out that WH seems to still want the divorce to continue forward. And not only that, but he appears to be becoming even more greedy than ever before. It is tough to hold the faith and hope during these bumps, but I am trying and also continuing to pray for him, my kids and myself.

I guess now I am on the reaction side of the D since I said I wouldn't be pursuing it. I don't want it to get ugly, but I cannot allow myself and kids to be financially ruined in the process either.

Please keep me in your prayers still as the road ahead is still too long for me to see the light.

FF

Be prepared for the fact that any time you start getting your confidence and life back he will do something that totally kicks your feet out from under you.

Be prepared to NEVER be surprised by any greedy, selfish, nasty thing he might do.

Eventually, you will be as a Samarai facing a battle that is certain to not come out in your favor. In those times, do as the Samarai do: control your breathing - it really focuses you and puts you in the "NOW".

KaylaAndy,

Thanks for the heads up. I should probably change the title of this thread again, because right now, it is probably the furthest thing from my mind as well as WH's. Will let you know if I do.

At this point, I don't think I would put anything past WH to try. Thanks again.

FF

WH is scheduled to have the kids for his 3 hour visit tonight, but 2/3 kids had fevers yesterday and the one vomited this morning. WH knows about the fevers.

I'm planning to inform WH about the sick kid and to suggest to him that I do not wish to take the kids out into the cold tonight, but if he would like to come see them here that is fine with me.

Good solution or not?

FF

Seems to me that your kids are too sick for a visit.

Is that the real reason that you are inviting him in, FOREVER??

Being nice is not attractive to him.

Toughness is the Key, Remember?

Mimi,

True about toughness. I will keep that in mind.

FF

I need some legal advice here.

WH is attempting to go after a monetary pre-marital claim. The money he is seeking to be returned was used as a dp for our first house which we bought as 2 single people.

No prenup exists, however in our state, it can still be considered pre-marital. The amount he had b/4 marriage was around 20k, but the way he and atty. figured it out, I would owe him 75k.

Please, I need some advice on how to handle this. I am in touch with my atty. re: this, but I thought I would see if anyone has had similar claim and how they handled it.

I definitely see WH trying to financially ruin me and in the process, he is only going to end up hurting his kids more than he already has.

Thanks,
FF

moving on up

You are asking for legal advice. We can't give that here. It is better to work with your attorney. You can research on the web and ask some on-line lawyers. I think there is a website called divorce.com but be careful. Make general statements.

Try posting your question on the d/d site. Maybe some have gone through something similar.

L.

Orchid,

Thanks, I am working w/my atty., but just thought I would see what situations other members have experienced. I did also post it on the d/d forum.

FF

Just found out that WH has a big surprise for the kids. The oldest asked him if it was the presents they would be opening. WH said no, it's bigger than that.

I am fearful that WH has asked OW to marry him b/4 we are even divorced. I guess time will only reveal what this mysterious surprise is. I just cannot imagine me handling this right now if my fear becomes real.

Any suggestions or I guess I will let you know what it is when I find out, but any suggestions if my hunch is correct?

FF

Maybe she's pregnant??

Regardless, have faith that whatever happens is in God's plan, even though it may not be in yours. Let us know how it shakes out.

Faith,

Nice to see you back to posting. As you can see, not a whole lot has happened with me lately. How was your holidays? Mine were better than Thanksgiving was. Probably cuz I had the kids w/me to preoccupy me and keep me busy.

I haven't heard yet what the mysterious surprise is, if there really is one. Time will tell.

FF

FF:

How goes it?

The holidays have been kind of hellish. H and I have both been sick, it's been hectic, and all three of us have been travelling in three different directions at different times. Thank goodness they're over and things should be getting back to normal in the next few days.

I notice you say you are getting impatient and frustrated? Why are you feeling like this? You need to try letting go of the situation. You cannot control it. There will be an end, however you need to be patient and have faith that God has the bigger picture in mind for all of you. If your patience is starting to wear thin, be careful that it does not manifest itself in LB behavior towards H.

Do you know what H's big surprize is yet? Surely, he must have told the kids something??

Have you given any more thought to what you want?

Faith,

I understand the hectic holidays. Hope things do get back to normal for you all.

As for my impatientness and frustration, I now believe it has actually been the feelings of lonliness and missing H that I've been feeling and the feeling of loss a bit since I don't have control over the situation, but rather God does.

Over the holidays, I have been focusing more on keeping busy and growing towards knowing God even more than I have been. I am reading a very interesting book called "A Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. It is a very deep christian book that I believe will help to guide me towards God and to do what Gods purpose for me and my life is and will continue to be. Very good book so far.

I know to be careful about the frustration leading to LB's, but thank you for the reminding encouragement to be cautious in what I say and do.

As for the surprise, no I don't have any idea yet, but have wondered if there was ever a surprise to begin with, or just a comment to get my curiosity peaked. I'm sure I will find out once my kids return today.

As for what I want, I am still working on this, but so far, I do still hope and want for us to reconcile (for everyone's sake) that is involved...WH, kids and I. However, I do pray for WH to seek God and to let God into his life prior to us reconciling if reconciling is God's plan for our marriage.

Will keep in touch. Thanks for continuing to reply. It helps.

FF

^^bumping for an update^^