I am working on myself. I am continuing my education. I called the University I went to years ago and found out that my credits are still good! The credits that I earned at other colleges are also transferable as long as they are a C or better. I am contacting those colleges and forwarding the transcripts to the University so we can put together a game plan to finish my degree. I gives me something else to focus no beside my problems.

To respond to the question about my anger, I think I am more angry than I thought. The thought of trying to meet her needs makes me very nervous. Maybe it is just the fear of rejection.

We had a lot of problems while we were together and I understand why she wanted to leave. Do I have the right to try to get her back if she doesn't want to? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> She seem to be happy.

I think WW has moved on. I believe she is still holding out hope that the OM will breakup with his wife and come back to her. Every time I think about WW I feel fear and anger. We are not doing plan A because she is still in love with the OM and shows no interest in comming home. She doesn't call me at all. I did a lot to fill her love bank but it doesn't seem to matter since she is still in love with OM.

Will someone please let me know what I should do? Why shouldn't I just let her go and push for the D? We have no children together and no real reason to stay together. She is supposed to restart the D procedings this month and I am really tired of waiting. She shows no regret over what she has done and now thinks she is a Godly person and right in what she is doing. She thinks her meeting the OM and having the affair was God's will. It doesn't matter that she is breaking up two marriages and she admitts that she be being selfish and that is OK. She is so covinced that she is right that it is scary. She is so happy and decieved and I don't believe she will ever change. She is even now giving her Daughter advice about being a good christian!

This is so sad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Opti, has your wife talked to a pastor about her belief that this A is god's will?

I'll bet she hasn't and she doesn't want to.

My WW is also convinced that god is supportive of her A. Of course, she won't talk to our pastor or a Christian counselor whom he recommended. Like your W, my WW is in the process of breaking up two sacramental marriage covenants in the name of god.

Talk about being in a fog! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Yet, I still deeply love my wife and want her back so we can work together to rebuild a much better marriage. Maybe God is working on me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The truth is I did not love my wife the way she needed. I can understand her actions of wanting to get away from me.

I could take the superior attitude that I am not the one who committed the A but in all fairness she probably felt she had no other way out of what she thought was a very bad situation.

We did not comunicate well and there was no real intimacy. Neither of us really opened up. I would listen and she would talk but we did not connect. Everything was superfical, just going through the motions.

If you want your wife back I believe it is very simple to do. Just forgive her, recognize your responsibility for driving her away and continue to fill her love bank with no withdrawals. I did not say it was easy but do able.

I know what to do but I am not ready to do it. I don't know my wife. She is like a stranger to me. All I know is what we had in the past which I thought was OK but evidently she did not. She never calls me unless I call her.

I am still angry and full of what I believe is righeous indignation but really it is just my pride has been hurt. The chances of us ever getting back together are very slim and mainly because of my attitude. I feel ashamed for my not being a loving Husband and I regret what I did. I think she is better off with someone else.

I am moving on and working toward finishing my degree which may take a year or so. This will help me to focus on something that I can control instead of waiting and expecting something to happen that I can't control.

I love my wife enough to let her go and find a good man that will treat her right. It is too late for me to be that man and I am not sure I want to be.

I am beginning to accept what YOST wrote in an earlier reply that she is just screwed up and I should let her go. It is lonely but I will adapt.