Help me - I cant write , too much to deal with - can't handle it anymore. Feeling very down right now & dont want to give up because of my little ones. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

What's going on???

I am praying for you this very minute, H2bP. The horrible downswings can be so engulfing. But you have the right idea. You have your little ones who need you and right now, you need them. Hold tight to them and when you're through this a bit, please come and post a sentence or two. It helps to get it off your chest.

Have 2 - Be strong for your little ones. Come here for help. HUGS to you and your family. It will get better.

I am a bs. After my M, I realize now I am going through a path of self-destruction. Now my walls are crumbling and Im sticking my head in the sand.
oh well.

Have-
If you can explain a bit more, and provide some details of your situation, the good folks on this site will be more able to address your needs. You will get lots of support!!

Have 2 - Welcome to the self-destruction club. When I first found out, I almost shot myself. The only thing that stopped me was WH was still beneficiary on my life insurance. I pictured him and OW spending my money and laughing about it. Then I took up smoking and drinking. Then looked around for other men. Happily the Lord put the brakes on this behavior, and now I am content with my life most days. Keep posting here and we will help you through this awful time. Things will get better and miracles do happen.

Know how it feels. Been there - still there to a degree. Major major depression hits like a ton of bricks. Not wanting to live. Etc.

1st - you found this "support" and "help" place - God guided you here - because there is real help here. I don't know yet how to "call" others to people in dire need of help - but maybe someone else does and will do so.

2nd - If you are really seriously depressed - to the point of doing harm to yourself or others - do not wait - go immediately to the local emergency room of a hospital and tell them. OR call a friend or family member. Get them to come over and be with you. Do not let them leave until you feel better. Or let them come in shifts. If you don't know anybody who will do that - go to a local church or place of worship - or call them in the phone book. OR LOOK FOR A HOTLINE PHONE NUMBER IN THE PHONE BOOK AND CALL IT.

3rd - Giving up looks like the only thing to do because the pain is so great. Believe me, how I do know. I experience that "tendency" daily. But the pain IS GETTING BETTER - and will for you. It will. It is not hopeless but your thoughts and emotions may be telling you it is. Your life matters very very much. You matter very much....to your little ones, to others, and to yourself. And most of all to God who made you. You are His precious child and His love for you is unconditional....even if you cannot feel that love right now.

4th DO NOT LET GO OF LIFE. Sadness is ok - cry some. But get with somebody you can talk to. Stephen Ministers are at many churches, are free, and will talk to you through your crisis. Look them up on the Internet or call around to local churches.

Keep coming here and posting - it does you good.

Im very very down.

h2bp,

think that there are many people out there in the same situation as you. Try to think clearly about the situation and realize that you have control over your life and your little ones. They are yours and they are with you. Start thinking about your options and try no matter how hard to think positive.

me BS 39
WH 41
DOD 2001
DOD #2 2003 same W
married 17 years,
2 kids, S 16, D13
OW 40 divorcee with 2 kids