Studying Dr. Harley's concepts and articles made me realize that maybe everything in my marriage has not been properly dealt with.

If a spouse has to travel out of state for his job and goes out with other women and has enough drinks that he cannot remember who he left with and what happened. Four hours are actually unaccounted for from the time the bar closed until the police pulled him over and arrested him for DUI, throwing him in jail. He knows that he was at the bar with a woman but cannot remember if he left with her or not. If this incident caused him to lose his job because of some things the superiors found out about which are still in question, is this considered an affair? Even if the spouse claims that he does not remember who he left with or that if anything happened he would have been too drunk to really do anything?

If later that same spouse had to travel out of town and had his calls stopped at the hotel even though he knew that his wife was pregnant and having complications, and later stated that he was just locked up in his room drunk because he had gone out and didn't want me to know (yeah right). Would you question that as an affair knowing that other women were possibly involved?

If after this he admitted to trying to have an affair with his secretary who turned him down and because of his hurt pride did have a sexual affair with someone else (definitely an affair)causing him to leave his family and file for divorce then how many affairs would you feel needed to be dealt with if at all?

According to what I have read there would be three possibly four affairs here. That being the case if this family was in recovery but had only acknowledge and dealt with the last affair, then is is necessary to go back and deal with the others?