I've been thinking quite a bit about you too.
It's very interesting the reaction your WH has had to your A. His reaction is an excellent example of how much the WS live in a fantasy. It's OK for me to do...but not to be done to me. It's somehow different when the other person does it.
Your WH seems an emotional, sensitive person that loves to talk. Your emails and comunication with him are feeding that. He is getting a need fulfilled by you, and your continued communication with him will enable him to keep it going with the OW longer (he doesn't have to expect THAT need to be fulfilled by her ifyou're giving it to him).
It's also interesting that he forgot what you said about the OW being in the house. Looks like it's time to sell the house. You would never want to move back into it anyway.
A formal separation may be the course to take...if this is where you want to go. It will pave the path for an easier D, or will make things straight with the both of you so there is not as much contact until he pulls his head out of his butt. If this is not what you want to do, maybe just an agreement of rules (visitation, money, splitting of property, etc)
A reiteration of Plan B, and terms for recovery?
And stop the R with the OM. You will regret this later. It will be a wedge in your M (just like the OW) and each of you will have WS and BS issues to deal with in recovery, along with guilt, remorse, anger, mistrust... I know, you've heard it enough.
