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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9
Hi everyone,
Brief history: 8/29/03 I accidentally found my SO of ten yrs cell bill-I found out he had been talking to a coworker ALOT!!! Several times a day. I called her number and asked her why her wk/cell #'s are all over my SO bill-she said with alot of attitude we work together. He said I can have friends. We argued, when he came home his stuff was packed, he moved out. At that time I felt it was over. The next day he emailed me apologized, commented on our difficult times, he never meant for anything to happen. We talked that day for a few hours. He swore they only talked, he NEVER touched her, never spent anytime with her, etc. As time had gone by, alot of crying, comforting, talking about our relationship-we both agreed it was worth saving. As time went by a realized the story didn't make sense. He said the day I called her she went to him and said, "She knows" I called him shortly after that and confronted him. He said that was the last time he spoke to her until two days after DDAY he got a text message saying hello, I handed him the phone and said take care of it. He called her while I was standing there, I could hear her answer VERY happy, "Whatcha doin" He said I was asleep, she said something I couldn't hear and he said, "Hey, you can't call anymore" she hung up-my thought was wouldn't the correct question for her be "What happened?" I know six weeks later he confessed (for six weeks he denied any conact with her between She knows and cell call)that she called him the day after DDAY and asked him what happened. He told he I saw cell bill and his stuff was packed and he had to get our and he didn't want to talk-he then hung up. Shortly after that my feelings of there's more to it were sooo strong I told him I want to see her. He was off work for other reasons for a few days, I/we went one morning before work-while sitting in the car waiting for her I turned to him and said, "Why don't you give me the respect I deserve and let me hear it from you" He confessed that they had sleep together four times at lunch. My world shattered.....talk about bad timing. She drove up just then. I thank god she didn't get out of her car- I would have went to jail. She was vile. Said it was only sex. I called her a slut and she said "so", I tuned to him and said was she worth it, appropriately he said no. My confrontation with her lasted ten-fifteen minutes. Such pain...MB has been a blessing. It (MB) makes so much sense. We are using the principles, seeing a counseler, reading SAA, and radical honesty. He feels no emotional connection to her, this is why he said he walked away and never looked back. Leaving me and being with her was never an option. The sex was penetration, he finished and left, she was never shall we say pleasured. No hugging, kissing. She not once was completely naked.He said he used condoms. He said after they're first encounter she told him she was on the pill-he said it wasn't an option to not use condoms. They had intercourse three times and she gave him oral once-this is my doubt-he said he kept on the condom (regular blue pkg trojan) while she gave him oral, she asked him twice to take it off-he said no so she did it with the condom on. I actually tasted one, ugh. It doesnt seem realistic to me. Question: Is it possible? I apologize for the long post-I know I needed to summarize my story. Your imput on the last question would be appreciated.

Believe........trying very hard to.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9
I must also let you all know that I fall into the category of someone who needs to know EVERYTHING.
Believe

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
As time goes by, you should be able to believe him more. To me it seems like he is really sorry. Work on your relationship now and try not to LB. Also get the book "Torn Asunder" which talks about "the message of the affair". It is something that the WS may be unable to verbalize, and it needs to be discovered so that it does not happen again. Keep reading here and posting. You'll get lots of support in your effort to reconcile.


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