Hypothetically....if you knew your WH hidden email and password...would you monitor the situation???????

I don't know if there's a right or wrong answer to this, but my response is a big YES!

I would monitor, then confront! CSue

I guess it depends on where you are. I'm with CSue if the A has not been exposed.

However, if you are in Plan B, reading their emails back & forth will do nothing to insulate you from the gross reality of the situation, nor will it be helping to preserve your love. Plan B is about no contact, and reading that stuff just keeps the wound open.

*S*

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by stillholdingon:
<strong> Hypothetically....if you knew your WH hidden email and password...would you monitor the situation??????? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It would depend on whether or not I trusted him. If I had some nagging doubts or was trying to learn to trust him again, you bet your booty I would. The only reason I WOULDN'T is if we had been in recovery for YEARS and he had reproven that he had been trustworthy.

Even so, I think I would still check every once in a while just to make sure. My new motto is 'trust, but VERIFY.' I have learned never to blindly trust anyone again.

<small>[ December 07, 2003, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

stillholding, I just went back and read some of your posts. I would suggest in your situation that you absolutely DO check his email and EVERYTHING. His affair is barely over and you can't even be sure that contact is ended. You need to check everything in order to protect yourself. Don't tell him you are doing this or you will give up your protection.

I would also suggest putting spy software on his computer so you can monitor any online chat conversations.

Also having read a few of your most recent posts, I'd say---Yes,,I'd check.

You guys have been GREAT!!! I want so badly to believe that he has given up contact with the OW...but I just don't know when I can believe him since he has been lying to me for so many years....I am using my info to check occasionally to see if he has made email contact...but he has another email address that I do not know the password..so I still think it is hit or miss that I would catch something to let me know.

I agree sometimes that knowledge can be a dangerous thing...but so far I have bee able to yell and scream at understanding friends and have not confronted him about what I know. It has been since Wednesday before Thanksgiving that I last confronted him about my fears of him still having contact with her. I was not angry and mean about it..in fact I was tearful by the time I let loose.

I appreciate all your input!!! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
to ya all!!