Personally, i think you just suck it up and hand deliver the damn thing... show her some strength and backbone. Even if you get teary eyed you will only be showing her how much this is hurting you and how much you really care abou ther and your marriage.

Please, I don't care how good she looks... how good she performs... how long it has been... plaese don't have sex with her... You'r just letting her know that she can go ahead and sit on that fence and eat fistfuls of cake. Just don't do it. It WILL not be good for you.

Bball... you mean basketball?... the t-wolves? I don't much get into basketball, I'm more of a hockey nut. Do you follow the Caps at all?

I haven't been to any games. For the past year I try to follow sports but its hard being depressed and all. I'll check the paper every so often to see how they are doing, but that is about it. I follow football moreso because of my fantasy league.

Yeah, I won't have sex with her. I will just be happy, charming, and respectful. I will even give her some presents. I bought her a really nice pajama set (I know she will LOVE it), a watch (not too flashy, but simple, something that I know she will wear and will last...just in case we don't), and I think I am going to get her a picture album and put pics in there of her and the children from the past 10 years.

What about you guys? Are you all getting anything for your wives?

Well done WMWB. I'm impressed...it sounds like it's all finally sinking in. Excellent advice you're giving here.

Now we just have to work on getting you to understand what good hockey is all about!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Solon,

Take it from me .. You DO NOT want TO sleep with her at the moment, I repeat you DO NOT want to .. ( well physically and mentally yes you might ) But emotionally you don't .. The day my wife and I went to court for our first court date we slept together . it had been a VERY long time since we had .. three things happened from it.

1. I can not stop thinking about it, hoping that we can make love again. Which put me at a bad spot to be in emotionally, I let her walk over me so that I could keep trying for "one" more time. it just prolonged me getting my head on a little straighter. ( not that it is ) because I look at her or see her and I still want to ..but I know it will not help except to put me back to square one and put her back into the fog ( not that she has come out ).

2. I couldn't help wonder what she did with the OM, while it was going on. ( so I can't say it was all that great ) and I had this over whelming urge to make sure he knew that we were were intimate. I could tell she felt like she was betraying him or herself so she wasn't all there either. Then I had the what if he has some Std and now my wife has it..

3. It made me miss her even more and it also made me more depressed... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> knowing that I love this woman with everything that I am and that even though we had just made love that that she still didn't want me any more that she wanted him or the Divorce.

so take it from me my friend a person that has been there not very long ago.. you really do not want to.

By the way .. Wisconsin is much better then that water hole next door... LOL

Wisconsin! The Dairy State <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Man, reading that made me think of all what they may be doing tonight, tomorrow, the next night and the night after that. That is really wild when you think about it. I won't even expound on that thought.

So I will not. I won't have sex with her. I am just tired of this situation and her. I want to just reach out to her one more time, telling her not to get back with me, but to let her know that she is not living the life she should be living, that her dear children are not happy, her family is not happy, and God cannot be happy with her. I want to tell her to come home and get the help she needs. Forget about me. Forget about Randy. Just come home, be a mom, STOP MISSING OUT ON THE RAISING OF YOUR CHILDREN, and take care of your responsibilities. Get help. Then we could discuss the marriage. It is really sad seeing her neglect her children like she is doing. I think I maybe able to reach her.
Should I send her an email? Just one last try.

Solon...

Should you send her an email??? Uhhh, NO!!! You cannot tell her those things. You cannot teach her or show her the errors of her ways. She will not listen to anyone right now, least of all YOU. You do nothing, you say nothing, just let it go, ride out the next two weeks and go dark.

And, NO... I am not gettin the WW anything for Christmas. Not from me, not from the kids. Nothing, she will realize what it will be like not having me in her life. Besides, anything i give her will only stay in the box and end up in the back of her closet. I'm sure that OM will give her something that she will just cherish...yuk, yuk, yuk... make me puke. Anyway, I am moving on without her, if she wants to come home... GREAT, if not... her loss.


Jilliana-

OUCH!!!! Blind sided along the boards, with my head down nonetheless. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Damn ruthless, toothless Canadian thugs... oh, wait... that is just "good hockey", isn't it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

NO - Hand write a letter and hand deliver it .. it WILL have more impact .. She will have something to look at everytime she is thinking about you.

and YES wmwb I am going to take my own advice on this.

Jilliana - you mean that frozen place called canadian hockey .. isn't that really all there is to do up there? That and ... fight - LOL

Wmwb - Sleep ? what is Sleep? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> I'm gonna call you and explain my post earlier..

<small>[ December 11, 2003, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Lost&Confussed ]</small>

Double post

<small>[ December 11, 2003, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Jilliana ]</small>

Heck...what are doing against the boards with your head down in the first place?? Let me guess...clogging up the neutral zone. You should be up skating circles in the offensive zone setting up some goals!

Nah...too scary for you guys. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

L&C...yep that's about it. When we're not fighting or drinking beer and watching hockey...you'll find us hunting polar bear or building our igloos.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ December 11, 2003, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: Lost&Confussed ]</small>

you mean you guys know how to build things A? I thought it was all about tearing things down and hockey - LOL Just kidding <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

then again if it wasn't for Canada we wouldn't have those great 2x4 to swing around ... isn't that right WMWB

Brother - here are my suggestions, for what they are worth.

1. No gifts whatsoever - NC means just that!
2. No sex - you will hurt yourself emotionally
emotionally and what about std's?
3. Deliver the Plan B letter ASAP and personally.
Keep a copy for your records.
4. Relax and go to a game or something fun.
5. Get a Bible, read it, and live it.

May God bless you and keep you in His love!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jilliana:
<strong> Heck...what are doing against the boards with your head down in the first place?? Let me guess...clogging up the neutral zone. You should be up skating circles in the offensive zone setting up some goals!

Nah...too scary for you guys. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not too scary... it's all about the trap baby!!!

What about you, L&C? Will you be getting the wife anything for Xmas?

WMWB, I guess I wouldn't be getting her anything either if I were in plan b right now. But, I am going to end Plan A with a bang so this will be my last gift to her...maybe ever. So after Xmas, I'm going dark, like they say.

Here's a question. How would I go about getting the name of this guy's wife/exwife? I know he was married. He told my wife they are no longer married. I don't believe they are because he lives with his mom. Any suggestions on how I could get her name?

solon ,

My Birthday was last friday and my wife didn't get me anything .. her reasoning is " we are filed for divorce" (not that I really expected her too.) Her birthday was three months ago and I bought her a ring .. she has not worn it , not even once .. and that was befor all of this started.. well at least befor I knew about it. I think that the A was going on much longer then what she has confessed too.

So... with that in mind .. I honestly do not know. My heart wants to .. but I doubt she is going to buy anything for me (not that it matters.) I just don't want to buy her something that she isn't going to keep, not going to open, or will exchange for the money to "buy the kids something" .. I will probably get her something from the kids but I think that is it.

I don't know about Maryland but in wisconsin .. divorce is a public record and there is a site that you can go on and type in a persons name and it will pull up anything that he or she has gone to court for. There will be a record if they did indeed get divorced.

Happy belated Bday, L&C.

Man, the abuse that we take from these women. I know that must really hurt her not wearing the ring and saying stuff like that. I'm to the point where I am going to just say forget it and get on with my life and welcome another woman into my life. I am just so fed up. I know you must be too.

Well, I just found out where the guy works. Still can't come up with anything that can get me what his wife's name or exwife's name may be. If anyone can find info. on this I'll appreciate it. I don't know him and could care less about him so here is his info.

Randall C. Holloway
about 33 yrs old
lives with his mom in Washington, DC.
mom's name, Christine Jester
phone number 202-399-5497
work number 301-808-4422
POE: Oakcrest Elementary located in Landover, MD.
Has a 10 year old son named Derrick I believe.