yeah, I never thought about that. It's the same with me. She has them M,T,W and they call me every night and every morning. I doubt my wife will call me though. She really despises me for who knows what reason. The fact that your wife keeps calling you though speaks volumes...about something. Why would she call you after you hang up on her? I am sure if I hung up on my wife just one time she will not call back, ever!...unless she wanted me. I think your wife really wants you, but that fool is keeping her from doing it. He probably says things like, "If you were to leave me I wouldn't know what to do". I'll step back if I were you and let her get so tired of him that she leaves him on his own.

My wife was almost convincing saying that she is not with anyone, but I know her better than that. She may not be officially dating him, but when the urge hits, they are sexing BIG time. I know her. It will be interesting seeing how my Plan B works out. I sent the guy's mother the letter I sent to her with a note for her attached. I think the next couple of weeks/months will be interesting ones.

But yeah, your wife wants you. I don't know why she's acting like she doesn't.

SMIH,

I've spoken with the mother before on several occasions. She does not believe that her son is screwing my wife. Says she thinks he is seeing someone and that my wife is just his friend. So I am sure they hide it from her (which is why my wife was so bent on getting her own place. before, they would go over there and have sex. Once I told her, that stopped). But now, I do not know if they have told her that she left me because I beat her, is crazy, or what. So that is why I sent the letter letting her know that I love her and that my wife not only left me, but the children as well. In speaking with me, I think she knows that I am not crazy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
but yeah, I exposed it to her and my family and everyone else who would listen.

Well - I told her exactly what I told you I was going to say ... ( should have called you back instead ).. she was out with him all day today and went Christmas shopping with him all day.. merry F'ing Christmas! ! ( I appolojize to anyone that I might have just offended with this ) I let her talk to the children and then hung up .. GRRR <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I'm so upset at the moment!

L&C, what did you tell her?

I'm so upset at the moment I can't remember .... (seriously)...

that bad, huh?

Well, take a deep breath...I know it's frustrating and hurtful beyond reason, just let it all out. It is amazing how unreasonable and irrational the WS can be, but in due time...this too will past. At least that's what I'm told.

Just write it all out. That's what helps me a little. Venting on here.

Oh, oh. Haven't heard from WMWB in a while. Last we heard she had made you really, really angry. You still there? How was the weekend?

Hey Guys...

Well, at about 7:30 Friday nitgh... it happened... I got served. I can't believe this. She had the nerve to call me Saturday and ask for a favor. I blew her off. Then she called again last night and asked for another favor... again I blew her off only to have her mother calling me asking me why I'm being "this way". HELLO....?!?!?!?

I'm home from work today as both kids and the WW are sick with fevers. She is having a REALLY bad day today. Not only does she have a 103 deg. temp. but she has to work (nobody to cover her shift). She called to see how the kids were doing and said she was going to drop off our 2 yo's stuffie (as she forgot to give it to me this morning). She called back 10 min. later to say that her tire was flat and she didn't know how to change it. She was in tears not knowing what to do or who to turn to. I'm not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing that she called me... I just don't know. I offered her the use of my truck, but told her she'd have to find a way over here as the kids were taking a nap. I think she just called in sick to work.

According to her mom, she is having a really tough time of things lately. Mom wouldn't elaborate too much but just said that WW didn't want anybody in her life right now and just needed some time. Again, I don't know what to make of this... is it just a line WW is handing her folks or is it her mom's own interpriation (sp) of what is going on with WW...???? I just don't know, and I just don't feel like putting any time into figuring it out.

So... toady was a minor slip up in plan B... I talked her off her ledge (so to speak) as she was about that upset. Tomorow is a whole new day, plan b it is all the way.

Yeah, it sounds to me that she really is digging you, she's just confused right now. I really think it's just a matter of time before she turns back to you. Hang in there. Your wife will be back home soon.

What do you mean by "digging me"? Are you thinking that she may still be in love with me? Because that is most definaltely NOT the vibe I'm getting from her.

She did ask to borrow some money this morning when I droppped off the kids. I just felt like screaming at her: "You filed for divorce a week and a half before Christmas!!!! Between presents and attorney's retainer, what makes you think I have a couple of extra nickles to rub together... and if I did, what makes you thinkI'd want to borrow them to you?!?!?" But I didn't... I just told her how the kids were doing and turned to leave.

How is your situation going?

Yeah, your wife's behavior seems very erratic. I mean, if she was not in love with you at all, why call all the time? If I did not love my wife and decided to be with another woman I would NEVER contact her, for anything. The fact that she continues to call you seems that she still has feelings for you right now. What is the longest she has gone without seeing you, speaking with you, hearing your voice?

My situation is the same. I have not spoken to wife since the night I told her not to contact me until she ends the affair and wants to work on the marriage. So my life has been less stressful these past couple of days.

Well solon .. I took Cue from you yesterday called my wife and pretty much gave her a PLan B letter over the phone on her machine ... not meaning too but I was so upset with her that it ended up coming out that way.. saw her last night and gave her my ring .. then I decided she didn't deserve it. I took it back and maade my mind up that I will make something for my children out of it.

How are things on your front?

L&C, I was getting worried about you for a minute there. Hadn't heard from you.

I am pretty furious this morning. I told my wife OVER AND OVER again that my son needs to be on TV restriction during the week (we never allowed them to watch TV during the week when she was home) but STILL she allows him to watch TV. So I have a PTA meeting this morning. His achievement scores were below average. So I am FURIOUS. I speak with him and ask him did he watch tv last night and he tells me he did. I am SO mad.

So I call my dad this morning and I ask him to call her and tell her NO TV DURING THE WEEK. She emails me this morning and tells me that my son told her I said he could watch tv. How lame is that? Even if I did, HE'S IN YOUR HOUSE WOMAN! DO I MAKE THE RULES IN YOUR HOUSE?!? I guess if I told him he could pee in the tub she will let him do that too huh? So I ignore the email. It feels good ignoring her these days.

But enough about me, so can you remember now what you said to your wife the other day? It seems like this has been a hellacious week for you so far.

Solon ,

The pee'ing in the bath tub remark made me laugh .. thank you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

No not really .. It was something to the effect of did she have fun at other mans house last night. ( I stopped over there to talk with her , she wasn't home. But her vehicle was. )

I think WMWB thinks I went off the deep end yesterday though.. ( maybe a little ).. and NO I did not call her back after I got off the phone with you .. I actually went upstairs and crawled into bed and slept. ( well, a little anyways )

Solon - My wife and I had a conversasion on the phone that got pretty ugly from both sides...
I'm doing better this morning and so is she ..
( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> shamefully hanging my head ) yes I spoke with her this morning .. I couldn't leave her like that and not tell her I was sorry for our conversasion that we had .. and besides I haven't given her a Plan B letter or anything yet .
(other then the VM I left her and that doesn't count.)

Well get with the program will ya!!!!

All I said was that you were comming off as though you went a little nutty. It seems that everytime you talk to her, you end up yelling and insulting her (not that she doesn't deserve it), or throwing something. In her eyes I'm guessing that you don't look to sane to her, and as such not to inviting to come back to.

Well, the saga that is my WW just keep getting better and better. Not only is she having all sorts of car trouble that she can't afford, but she lost her job last night. She is in this downward spiral that just keeps getting worse and worse. I thnk I'm just going to step aside and let her fall flat on her face. Easier said than done.

Wow! Just yesterday I was thinking what an event it would be if my wife lost her job. That would be something. I think the way you treat your wife now is critical during this time. She probably will be expecting you to gloat and step on her while she is down. Stepping up and offering assistance in her time of need would blow her mind away. But, be cautious with that.

I had to speak with my wife today. My dad gave her the wrong information <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Said that it was my son's grade that was below average and it is not. His grades are average so she was quick to tell him that. She also sent me an email with his grades (as if I did not know) and asking me when were they singing again (they sing duets at our church). I wanted to ignore her altogether, but I had to explain to her that it was his standardized tests and that she should be reading more and practicing his math more instead of watching TV (I ignored the other question). She replied and said she understands and asked when they were performing again. I answered her. She replied with "thank you". Yuk!

I've really just about have had it with her. I don't know about you guys, but I am one second away from just calling it a day and moving on.

I'm right there with you man... and L&C is probably leading the pack. I offered her the use of my truck yesterday (stupid move on my part) and was sympathetic to her when she was in tears telling me all this stuff. But I think I need to go dark (again) and just let her deal with this stuff on her own. She needs to hit rock bottom and come to me... i can't be there offering her assistance every step of the way.

I have to stop letting her cry on my shoulder. Like I said, it is easier said than done... but I do.

All of us need to .. not just you!

My wife doesn't cry on my shoulder...you know fellas, I am just about ready to throw in the towel on this one. I was off of work on Friday, so I decided I would play detective. I went to the OM's POE and posed as a father who was interested in sending his kid to their school. I got someone there to give me a tour of the place. I met the OM. He had no idea who I was since he's never met me in person (my name was never mentioned). But in seeing him, I became sick to my stomach. The guy looks like a born loser. I cannot believe my wife turned her back on the entire family for this loser of a man. It's Sat. night, the Sat. before Xmas and she is out while her children are here, without her. I don't know if any "fog" could be THAT thick. And it's been like this since JULY!!

I am about ready to throw in the towel.

Hey Solon

How are you doing? I can fully understand how you feel. Just take a good look at those faces of you kids. That ought to give you reason to hang in there for one more day. That's usually what does it for me... every time I'm ready to just say "...[censored] it, she isn't worth this any longer..." I just see the faces of my two boys and it makes me hang on for another day... if only for them.

Trust me, as well as many others on here, the fog is exactly that thick at times. It hurts when you see it from the outside looking in doesn't it? She doesn't fully grasp what she is doing, she is an addict and is under the influence of this drug. Just remember that, this isn't her... it is an addict. I find it helps at times.

You sure are a glutten for punishment, aren't you? I though t you were going into plan B... or at least going to go dark...? This is a time for you to heal some of the open emotional wounds. You need to be putting distance between yourself and this whole thing (your wife, OM, A, M, ect...), this isn't a time for you to be subjecting your self to more pain. You need to lay low and just give this time... take yourself out of the picture for a while. Trust me, it is much easier said then done... but it is necessary.