I hope you don't take this personally and I'm not even sure if you wrote this with the right intentions or if you will even read the responses. I'm just responding with what I feel about the issues you've addressed.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Well, if I just wouldn't have told H anything we would still be making it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You may still have been making it, but for all of the wrong reasons. Sooner or later, the foundation of your M would have fallen apart. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The problem with this site is that everybody thinks that once you say "I do," no matter what stage you are at in your life that you need to stick to it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's not just this site, it's what marriage was intended to be. For "better or worse". If people just jumped out of a marriage when ever there were problems, I doubt anyone would be married.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">but sometimes you need to be selfish and when you realize that you are NOT happy in your marriage--then END IT!!! Don't stick around b/c you "vowed" to.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is this same selfish behavior that gets M into trouble. A Marriage is not just about "You" and your happiness. What about your Spouse?
Vows are a promise made before God. Are you suggesting we willingly break our promise to God just because we aren't happy about our current situation?
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Find out who you are before you get there and if you failed to do that then it is OK to get out! I am in perpetual guilt, shame, and regret about my affair. If I never told I would still be pulling it off, but I would still feel the same. If I had the insight before having an affair to realize that "It is all right to realize that the one I married may not be the one for me. Go ahead with your feelings," then maybe I could have moved on without so much regret. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you fail to find out who you are before you get married and subsequently find out later, that just doesn't sound fair to the other person. We are always in a state of discovering who we are and some of us still don't know. That would leave a greater majority of us unfit to wed.
I'm sure the regret would still be there. There is no justification that eases the pain and guilt of an affair.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">just b/c you are married that there is still room for re-evaluation and corrective measures!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is room to re-evaluate and correct your
Marriage. You never know, you could fix things and be even happier then before.
