Please experts come help me!!!! I need help with the NC letter and even just getting up the courage to ask for it...I am so weak...I hate to make him more mad at me than he already is...I just don't know what to say to him. I need some eloquent and calm words to say...please fill my mouth with things that make sense at this time when nothing in my head makes sense....

Man when will these anti D's start working <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

stillholding,

Why would he be mad at you? Wasn't it HE that had the affair? I think your thinking is turned around here about who has a right to be mad and who doesn't. The least that he can do to make amends to you is write a no contact letter to the OW.

If he gets mad at YOU for simply asking that he take steps to repair the enormous damage he has caused, then you have a much bigger problem on your hands than a no contact letter.

I would simply ask him what his plan is to repair the damage done to your marriage. You have agreed to stay and you feel that in exchange for that gesture he needs to do certain things to recover the marriage. And in order for the marriage to recover, he needs to make you feel SAFE by sending a no contact letter to the OW.

The letter should be written together, telling her that the affair was wrong and that he has decided to work on his marriage because he loves his wife. He would also ask that she respect his wishes and never contact him again.