H moved out two weeks ago. See my profile for details.<P>We have seen him 8 out of the last 9 days. We have been school shopping, kids events etc. He has even asked me to attend things with him which had he lived at home I probably would not have attended as I wasn't needed there but all of a sudden he needs me to go with him. <P>He calls every morning before school and now calls atleast once during the day. <P>Tonight he invited me to see his apt. and go swimming with he and the kids. We went and I was OK all the way there in the car. I read the book "Love must be Tough" today so I was feeling good, was going to maintain my emotions, self respect etc. I walked in the door of apt and lost it. It looked so permanent; furniture, appliances, futon, giant bed, dresser, night stand, new towels, new kitchen utensils and to top it off a new computer!!! I ran to the bathroom and had my emotional break down. H came in and I told him it all looked so permanent. He said it wasn't. Said everything that he had purchased he did with bringing it home in mind. As I looked around the color scheme was like our home. It would fit in if we had room. It's almost like he is playing house. He moved from his mother's home basically to living with me with a little college dorm living in between. Now he's furnished an apartment for himself and I'm not sure he even likes being there as he is with us so much. I think it's lonely there even with all the amenities. Our home is always alive with neighborhood kids, phone ringing etc. It must be quiet and depressing there and my husband is an outgoing extrovert with a great sense of humor. Loves kids and being with friends. <P>OW, I have no idea! If they are still seeing each other it must be late at night after he leaves us. I haven't asked. I've been letting things ride, making home a safe place to be. I know I have to ask eventually but right now everthing is so peacefull that I'm afraid to upset the apple cart.<P>Reality has finally set in for my children. They miss their dad when they go to bed. My nine year old was in tears tonight when we got home even though we just spent the entire evening together. My six year old is afraid that burglars are going to get us in the night. All I can tell them is that I miss dad too and wish he would come home also. My kids are not blaming me thankfully, but they are acting out; fighting more, yelling at me, more tears. I do convey this to him. I have learned to communicate in the last 8 months whether he likes it or not. <P>I don't even know if I have a question in all this rambling. I am trying to remember that Dr. Harley said most affairs do not end upon discovery, they last 6-24 months beyond. That he may have to hit rock bottom before reality hits him. That now that the affair is out in the open, some friends and family know, it will probably start to die. Maybe when I showed up at apt two weeks ago and she saw me and I saw her for the first time reality set in for her too. He is never going to divorce his wife!!!!!!<P>Any opinions are welcome. At this point I am open to anything (Even you Lor, everything you have told me was what I needed to hear whether I believed it or not. You were right.)

Hoping, our separation has been weird also. He calls regularly and we see each other often. Kids aren't home anymore. OW? Don't know that either. Don't bother to ask because he's lied so much in the past I wouldn't know whether to believe him or not. You can rest assured your H is lonely in the apartment. All my friends and family talk about how great my apartment is, etc. In reality, it is nice, but very lonely. Not home. BTW, my home has been sold and will close 9/30. I have hit rock bottom and am working my way back up. He has yet to have to move his things and deal with the loss of "home". <P>Things sound very encouraging for you. It sounds as if you are continuing Plan A to the tee. Continue the good work. I hope things work out for you.

Gee, Hoping, even ME? . I told you I feel bad about being right. I don't get any pleasure out of telling you to beware.<P>Just some more thoughts from my experience:<P>Your H is acting like my H does when we are separated. Seeing us nearly every day, calling as well. I always wondered what exactly he got out of not sleeping here when he was here most evenings & a lot on the weekends. My conclusion? Even though he spent a lot of time with us, living apart made it easier to tell the OW we were separated and the divorce in progress (it wasn't and isn't), he could tell her he was spending so much time at the house because of the kids--even though he was really spending time with me and having sex with me a couple times a week. And if he didn't want to see me on a specific day, well, he'd just say "We're separated, I need some time/space to think". He could call her or go see her after he left here because if he left after 8 I wasn't too likely to call him again that evening & if I did, the answering service picked up whether he & roomate were gone or if they were on the internet. If he didn't get back to me that night, he'd tell me the rommate was on the 'net until after he went to bed. Of course your H doesn't have the roommate alibis to help him with his stories.<P>Until the last week of our last month long separation I didn't think my H had enough time to see the OW either. But he did. And did so in the months before as well. And I was SUSPICIOUS! I still can't quite believe he pulled that over on me. I can't believe that the man who was so remorseful in January was able to lie again so convincingly.<P>I know some of these are just my issues, not yours. But my H has been living with me since Aug 14, so things can turn back around, and around, and around....<P>God bless, Hoping.