My FWH has tried to explain his involvement in three As - 2 PA and 1 EA - since D-Day. He has several "excuses" but the ones that puzzle me the most are: 1) that he is shy, and 2) that he is self-conscientious about his weight/body.

1) My H is not shy. I always thought he was outgoing and he makes friends easily. He was never too shy to flirt with female coworkers, ask them for their phone numbers, or to seek SF from them.

2) It is true my husband's weight has fluctuated during our marriage and he has been overweight at times. But that didn't stop him from getting naked in front of OW for SF.

Is this a guy thing? Can married men be shy and self-conscientious about their body and still pursue these activities with other women? I would think if he truly felt this way, he would be more comfortable with me, his wife of 23 years.

Very interesting question.

I'm wondering if it is a self image thing. Perhaps when he does not feel good about his body or himself in general, he uses his affair partner(s) to validate him. His thinking might be - wow, she thinks I am sexy, handsome, etc., so I must be.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would think if he truly felt this way, he would be more comfortable with me, his wife of 23 years.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My thought here is that, in his mind, your opinions - that he looks good, for example, might not be as acceptable to him. After all, you're his wife, you're supposed to love him no matter what. Yet a stranger who thinks he's looking good? Now that's believable and stimulating.

I know such twisted thinking doesn't make sense to someone who is well grounded, but to those with self esteem issues, it might.

JMO

*S*