How do you implement NC from H or W without demanding that they not see the other person? In plan A it says not to demand. I just think a H or W will not take you seriously if you ask pretty please don't see or talk to that other person. I feel there has to be that ultimatum to let them know that this is serious and not going to be tolerated in a marriage. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to do that without demanding it?

How do you implement NC from H or W without demanding that they not see the other person?
What do you mean by "NC"? Do you mean going to Plan B? This is the only time you should tell them no contact with you.

In plan A it says not to demand.
It is something you try & negotiate it (they won't do it but you are learning new ways in the realtionship.)
In Plan A you try & meet their needs. While in Plan A, you do not go no contact with your spouse.

I just think
But Dr Harley KNOWS what he is doing.

a H or W will not take you seriously if you ask pretty please don't see or talk to that other person. I feel there has to be that ultimatum to let them know that this is serious
Again, just because you can feel it's the only way to get his attention, does not mean it's the right way to do it. Harley shows this.
The idea is for YOU to say what you mean and mean what you say. You show him (in time) how you are changing for the better. You are not trying force them to do something.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to do that without demanding it?
You don't. When you go to Plan B you tell them in the letter.
But you are not there yet.
You need to read

<small>[ December 17, 2003, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

I think the question is: how do you ask your WS to implement NC w/ OP without making it a demand?

It is something you try & negotiate.
They won't do it but you are learning new ways in the realtionship.

Try and negotiate, but don't expect is what I would say.

Plan A is to provide your WS with so many happy thoughts about you that they CHOOSE you over the OP.

For the most part in Plan A you have to take a lot of stuff that you don't want to have to for as long as you can. And if that doesn't work, THEN you go to Plan B where you don't have to deal with those things anymore.

Plan A is to provide your WS with so many happy thoughts about you that they CHOOSE you over the OP.
No, it's not. The wayward spouse (usually) has very few bad times with the op. The only times they are together they are doing "fun" stuff. They don't worry about all the mundane things in life cause they are to busy having an affair.

Plan A is learning new relationship skills and putting them to use so when the affair falls apart, the ws will want to come back to you.

<small>[ December 17, 2003, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>