Why is it that after a WS is caught, they all the sudden want to make their exist. marriage better than ever? Why could they not have wanted to make it better before the affair??? Im NOT talking about just talking about it, but actually putting in effort to make the marriage work and better. I dont understand?? I have read so many posts where the WS is all down and feels terrible after they are CAUGHT cheating and then all of the sudden love their BS with all their hearts and want things to be better than ever. All this seems very BASS ACKWARDS to me?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> If a person is going to go the extra MILE to repair their marriage, do it before the affair.


Does it take a major disaster in someone life to make them see the light or what? I know I did not need to have an affair, crush my spouse in order for my eyes to be opened that I really love them.

<small>[ December 22, 2003, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: StartinOver ]</small>

Seduction to an affair does not happen overnight. If you've read many stories about how they come to be you'll notice that they start very innocently as friendships that start crossing dangerous marital boundaries (exclusife friendship with the OP, more time alone with the OP than with spouse, confiding personal things with the OP rather than the spouse, sharing the enjoyment of mutual interests, declaration of attraction towards one another) until critical mass is achieved and the affair becomes full blown. But since not all WS are alike, there will be those that ,after some time passes, will have their consciences shatter their fantasy and end their affair. These are the ones that realize how wrong the affair was and want to do everything in their power to save and rebuild their marriages. These WS do feel love for their BS and were not contemplating ending their marriages prior to the start of their affairs. What happened to these WS was very much like a frog in a pot of water being slowly boiled alive and not realizing it until it was already to late.