<small>[ January 19, 2004, 06:38 PM: Message edited by: Waiting_Waiting_Waiting ]</small>

Waiting,

I don't post here very often anymore because OW regularly lurks here to see if and what I am posting, but I wanted to respond to your post. FWH knew OW growing up and reconnected with her via a UK website similar to Classmates.com. Its called FriendsReunited.com. OW also reconnected with an old boyfriend, who also happens to be married, via the same website and has had an ongoing A with him for over a year now, as well. In fact, she was carrying on with him at the same time she demanded that my FWH leave me to move back to the UK to live with her. She continued to carry on with him the entire 6 months my FWH lived with her. Nice, huh?

Regards,

Brit's Brat

Yes my H came in contact via email because of classmates.com with 2 old sweethearts from high school and started EA's with both via email and made plans to meet the one who still lives in the same state as us. And I also feel this double life feeling also led him to sign up on american singles .... He stated to like the attention he was getting from these women . He clams nothing went PA.

Waiting - by the low number of your posts, I'll assume you are new to this challenge. We all here will validate your hurt and your confusion. You are among friends.

But first, trust me for a moment. I'm going to try to change your focus.

Did classmates.com play a role? Yes, a very small one.

But I'll postulate it was one of the last pieces of the puzzle. All it was was a medium for fulfilling unmet needs. You will be doing you and your marriage a huge diservice to "blame" classmates.com - or any other communication mechanism. Your H was predisposed to have an affair LONG before he connected with OW through the internet. Classmates.com just made his predetermined course more efficient.

Please browse this site and discover the root causes of affairs. You'll learn that the decision to have an affair was 100% your husband's. But, in just about all cases, the betrayed spouse also had a role in creating the environment favorable for that decision to be made.

Please do not focus on the mechanism or the other woman - focus on yourself because this is the only piece of the puzzle you have absolute control over and the only one you can change.

<small>[ December 22, 2003, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 06:39 PM: Message edited by: Waiting_Waiting_Waiting ]</small>

Bob - sorry about the gender mix up. I'll bet you know that gender doesn't matter much on this topic.

I read your link and have a better understanding of your situation. You seem articulate and knowledgeable - only you can know what's right for you.

I'll suggest what you've for sure already thought of and likely what others have suggested - cut your losses and move on.

Good luck,
WAT

<small>[ January 19, 2004, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: Waiting_Waiting_Waiting ]</small>

no direct experience with classmates.com, but i'm going to agree with wat. the web site in question was only the vehicle to make contact. it could have just as easily been contacting a female classmate who was likely to have the old bf's phone number.

in other words, the web site was just a provider of information. she asked and it gave an answer.

i've also read your other thread. i'm not one to normally say cut and run. in your case, you're not married and she doesn't seem to be making any real steps to come back to your relationship and participate in any way that's healthy -- the answer seems to me to be clear.

best of luck.