Maybe the "rose colored" glasses have been on a long time, and now I am beginning to see the light on what marriage really is. I have a relative who told me one on one that he would not mind borrowing me for a night. I was not only offended, but thrown back for a loop. He knows that we both know his wife travels a lot and he does as well. Does traveling put a marriage in danger, or is it a cover up for the real marriage to begin, once the job is done and over with? Any inputs and advice to keep the traveling pervert to rest would help. Thanks,

Love your subject line!

My H is military (definately some traveling!), and he says he has felt NO urge to stray when he's feeling good about the marriage, but during harder times (what marriage doesn't have those??), he doesn't feel as committed when away from home. But he's improved his boundaries post-affair/recovery.

I imagine the answers to your question would vary a lot, if you could take a survey of married travelers. But travel sure can't HELP.

Keep your own boundaries healthy!!
J, in recovery 5y and glad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Jenny, I too was in the military, four year too long. My husband wanted to get married right after I was due to get out, for that reason alone. He says it's not that a man goes looking for a reason to have an affair, it's a impulse, sometimes an addicting one. I hated his answer then, and still do. The traveling does not help anymarriage. His wife (the relative) travels twenty days out of the month, when she is in, he is usually out. What kind of marriage is this, if it is one. The whole reason you settle down is to be with that person. He mentioned to me that he is "looking for someone he can trust" any female input on this new/old line would help me to understand and be sympathetic. Thanks a bunch,

Dream, Achieve and Suceed!

I just have to add my 2 cents worth, as I had an xH that traveled for the military alot.

We had talked a great deal about "what went TDY stayed TDY" and what some of the other guys had done and so on. My H and I had very firm boundaries set and they were meant for both of us and we adhered to them. They were simple "do not put yourself in the way of temptation"

For 17 years we lived with that, then he had a remote to Korea and while there started conversing with old HS SH via the internet, he had an emotional affair, I did not know about MB or I would have understood how to help him when he returned. He then also had a MLC and was't "Happy" wasn't un-happy either. Between the EA and the MLC I lost my best friend and H.

I ran inot an old friend that did alot of traveling with xH and he was just totally shocked the xH had had an affair, He told me that xH had never ever even looked at someone else adn that he was just shocked.

Anyways my 2 cents worth on the subject matter!!!

Set Boundaries and know what each others boundaries are and respect them!!!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ December 25, 2003, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>