Since the day my WW left and confessed some 9+ months ago she continues to live in her own new world.

Very little comunication towards me as though I cheated. And virtualy no contact with anyone we shared as family and our circle of friends.

It's as though her old life has been virtualy dumped in the trash. And her new world is all that matters.

Any ideas why WW spouses act like this??

Anyone else experianced this with there WS??

Any WS out there I would love to hear from you.

You know, it NEVER ceases to amaze me how identical these situations are. It is literally amazing!

My wife confessed or was caught in February and since she has moved out 7/30 she has abandoned everyone in our family circle as well and treats me with such contempt that I can't see how she allows the children to be with me the majority of the time. She has even turned her back on her children. It is sad, too sad. So sad that I have given up.

But yes, this behavior is very typical of all WWs. It is truly amazing.

Solon - your X has custody of the children? Did you fight her on that? I thought something like adultery would not give WS's a chance in hell at winning custody? Perhaps I am missing alot of info on this?

Good guy - I am really sorry that you're wife (X) is doing this! The same thing will be happening to me real soon as H is planning to move from IL to TX again for the third time! It's really hard to deal with knowing in advance that H will cutoff contact with our kids because it causes "too much conflict" with OW because she can't handle me and him talking. yeah that's the newest revelation. So you know what, they both have real serious problems and I'm just preferring to stay out of their drama! don't get me wrong - I'm pissed as hell that I actually KNOW this will be happening but I just keep giving myself these little pep talks and it works for me. Self affirmations.

To me it just sounds like they've alienated themselves to make themselves feel better. For my H, he's the type to just avoid problems so he doesn't have to deal with them. H was mad at me because he feels I've turned everyone in our circle against him. ME? Lil ol me? NO. His actions are what turns people off, he still does not see anything wrong with what he is going to do to his daughter. It's called abandonment. There is no excuse and he can't understand that. It will be easier for him to fade away completely than to deal with the pain of his little daughter crying for him on the phone. I know I kind of went off there but I was just trying to give my story as to how it relates to what your wife is doing. Plus I'm in a bad mood today so my posts is colored today.

Love DG

"Since the day my WH left and confessed some 9+ months ago he continues to live in his own new world.

Very little comunication towards me as though I cheated.

It's as though his old life has been virtualy dumped in the trash. And his new world is all that matters."

Hello goodguy. I took the liberty to copy your post and make it mine. It's an exact description of my situation and my WH.
I really don't know why WS's act like this - but they do... very often it seems. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ December 29, 2003, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: Danish ]</small>

Hi GG,

I too have an alien for a spouse now.Everything that my WH held dear is now second.He is happy just being "friends" with me but still says "I love you" and "I would die for you"(huh?),is happy being a part time dad to his girls,is extremely happy in his new job(more justification for being away from his family),is comfortable with the idea that he may lose his home and everything, has grown a beard and likes not having to shave despite his whole family hating it,etc etc.Maybe an early MLC who knows.

If you have spent any time around someone who has an addiction(drugs,alcohol,etc) you can get a better understanding of why WS's act the way they do,I have and I see the correlation easily.

O <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

No, she does not have custody. I haven't filed for anything, but I am sure if I did I would get full custody. She just does not want the responsibility.

No, same answer here.

No contact AT ALL since the day he left. Has been 2½ years - (some phone calls as necessary, though).

23 years of holiday celebrations/visits to friends & families completely wiped out.

It would be a mystery, except that it's all so "common." I mean, if we are ALL experiencing the same thing, how "different & unique" can the circumstance be??

Take comfort in knowing that: Your WS is acting exactly like they ALL act at one point or another.

I am sorry you are going through this, but there has to be comfort in knowing they all act alike. That kinda takes the sting out of thinking, "What's wrong with ME!?!?!" It's not you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God Bless,

Well it does sound like were all in the same boat.

I made it through the holidays with flying colors, I believe. Some sad points of course but I'm really comming to terms with the idea that it may infact be over.

Ironicly my potential Divorce Day coincides with my WW and OM each needing to renew thier respective leases or pick one home for them both to live in.

The next few months will be interesting.

gg:

Well, I hope this post isn't depressing, but I thought I'd say this because it IS true that the script will be followed, wherever we are in this whole thing.

Remember how my FWW was so down on M in general? Always making the "never wanted 2 be M'd" comments? Even 2 the extent of saying "Nobody should be allowed 2 get married!"?

Well, last night we were laying in bed watching "Friends" on the lobotomy box. We NEVER watch shows like that. But we're only getting rabbit ear reception right now, so that was all that was on worth watching.

Well, one of the gals was getting proposed 2, and my W grabbed my hand and pulled me close for a really sweet hug.

That would have been impossible even a few weeks ago.

So don't give up hope. Even if you end up DV'd, it's your ABILITY 2 hope that will carry you through 2 another rewarding relationship. That's my paradigm (20 cents).

-ol' 2long

On New Year's Eve just after noon my WW called my cell phone. I did not answer. I am in PlanB.
What could she have possibly said that would not hurt like hell? She is starting the new year in the arm's of another man. My heart breaks.