My wife has a very good (male) friend that helped her through some troubles that her and I went through a couple of years ago (I had an EA with a woman). She's openly admitted being attracted to this person in the past, and has mentioned that if we wouldn't have made it, she could've seen herself having an affair with him.


I'm not normally a jealous person, but something just didn't feel right about this whole thing. I started intercepting her emails about 9 months ago and have been monitoring them regularly. There was some very serious flirtation going on via email and they use to meet for coffee fairly often, but not so much anymore.

Without actually telling her I've read her emails, I voiced my concern that she may be leading this person on and that I didn't feel comfortable with it. she would joke and say "maybe I deserve a little pay-back".

He recently is separated from his wife and is heading for divorce. She tells me now that she sees him in a different way because she is friends with his wife and has heard of things about him that has caused her to lose respect for him.

I can't seem to get rid of this feeling that "something" may have happened that goes further than flirtatious emails.

My question is... do I confront her regarding the emails and "own up" to spying on her, after it's been such a long time of reading the emails?

Any advice would be helpful, thanks...

Sincerely, Concerned41

Thanks for the suggestions... I'm already doing these things... flirtatous emails, we have date nights, I surprise her for coffee, phone calls, flowers, etc...and have made a concious effert to do these things since we begain our healing process over 1 1/2 years ago.

This is what is so confusing...