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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 05:01 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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marriedandlonely,
I only have 2¢, not advice.
First step to rid of addiction is admitting it. Your H is far from that. You can't tell him & you can't intefere w/ it. It has to come from him. However you could help to create the environment that would help. May be he need to be in rock bottom before he changes. He needs a reason to change.
This is part of "exposing", to create the environment for addict to take the consequence. You have nothing too loose, he gave you silent treatment already. If there is no other percaution such as physical danger ... tell his buddy.
He is passive aggressive, a typical behavior for people under addiction. He knows that he did wrong but he wants you to enable it.
-rh-
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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marriedandlonely,
Hope your talk w/ H is good today. Again you are just played into H's passive aggresiveness. Please get help ... b/c you are very ripe to become WS yourself.
Expose his problem to his friend.
Use tough love ...
Listen ... listen to what he says ... NO LB but don't take his bullsh!t, think what you are going to say. Use sentence like "I love you that is the reason why I ... ". "We could agree and disagree as an adult" ....
-rh-
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 04:58 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by marriedandlonely:
<strong> I have talked to SH 4 times ... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Get his advice again. You might want to watch out for your LB then plan B. Plan A is not forever ... not all M worth saving, just remember that. One TV IC said " You have to earn your way out of your M".
-rh-
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M&L,
You need Alanon. This is a support group for friends and families of addicts. There are many meetings all over the place. Find one that fits your needs.
When our son was in the depths of his addiction, I found Alanon to be the only thing that helped me deal with it. It is far better than expensive couselors and medication.
Now that WW has told me she plans on leaving to be with the OM, I probably may start attending an Alanon meeting again. After all her behavior is similar to that of my son when he was using drugs.
Anyway, get to an Alanon meeting and learn how to care for yourself.
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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<small>[ January 26, 2005, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: stumblinalong ]</small>
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