After months of Plan A, two short-term separtations, and 4 "break-ups" with his OW, I've decided to implement some 180's on WH. He's currently not with OW, but they still work together, and talk now and then. Recently, WH has been opening up to me about his conversations with OW. He tells me that she continues to try to talk him into trusting her again, and asking him to let her prove to him that she and he should work things out. She tells him she loves him, and then shows him by spending the night with HER ex. I've become a friend to my WH, and I think he feels safe in talking to me about how OW continues to hurt him. Although this is difficult for me (I haven't even been able to heal from the hurt he's caused me), I want him to know that I'm here for him.

I think he's beginning to see (from OW's actions), that she is not the person he thought she was, and that they should not be together.

Is this a good sign that WH wants to share this info with me, and should I continue to be his friend/sounding board? I'm ok hearing it, and don't offer advice or "I told you so's...," but if I start to get emotional, we end the conversation and move on to something more postitive.

Like I said, I've just recently started some 180's, because I really wasn't ready for Plan B. I'll ride this out for a little while and see if he notices...

He knows that no one will ever love him like I do...

Thanks, MOP

from what you describe, it does sound like this is a good thing. it doesn't appear that he's trying to be hurtful to you, that he's confiding in you. it means he feels safe with you. you're doing things right. keep it up.

Thank you whippit. I feel that way, too. For the first time, in a long time, I feel at ease. I know this may be a temporary situation, but if he needs help with this, I want to be THE ONE!!! Know what I mean? His R with OW is very juvenile (She's only 24, and mentally younger than that), and I want to remind him what an ADULT relationship can be like!!! Much more rewarding.

MOP

Mother of Pearl,

I hope you don't mind hearing from a FWS.

It must be really hard for you to hear your H talk about OW, but it is wonderful of you to listen and be supportive. It is great that he is talking to you about his feelings.

My H said I could talk to him about FOM, but whenver I did, he would really crash and burn emotionally. I understood his reaction, and didn't blame him for it, but not being able to talk to him about what I felt made getting through withdrawal a lot scarier and lonelier. My H tried to be there for me, it was just too difficult for him to hear it, I know.

There aren't many people most of us can trust to talk to about all of these things. I hope you have someone to talk to about your hurt (as well as this board). God bless.