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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7 |
Time heals all wounds, true??? Well it doesn't seem to be so. I had an A 21 years ago. My wife has recently told me that she can't trust me. Where do I go, we're falling appart. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 150
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 150 |
Maybe she's like me (my W had an A 12yrs ago) and finally figured out she never recovered. I know I didn't.. lied to myself for years about how well I handled everything then one day WHAM!! I was ready to walk out of the marriage (many reason's by now, the A sort of kicked it all off for sure).
IMHO Recovery is a necessary and ongoing "project" (so to speak) that never really ends. Recovery is NOT an end-state or a point-in-time your marriage is now safe and ready to move on as though nothing happened. Was your W really able to recover from your A? Or did she allow you to convince her to "shut up already and get over it" (no offense but that's exactly how I interpret the WS's so often attempt to dodge the consequences of thier actions). This is pretty much what happened to me. You may have to re-open some old wounds by taking up the concept of radical honesty. For sure, it would do a great deal to bring the trust back (get ready for the storm though if you've kept any secrets).
M.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575 |
what exactly did you do to help her recover? what did you do to rebuild trust?
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