Last night the soon to be x husband called the first time since New Years Eve. Story on Crazy life. (he became physically abusive to our son)
First he tells me that he stayed in his room all weekend only came out for food (he lives with his brother) then he told me that he was gonna take his rifle out to the woods and shoot himself cause he was so ashamed of what he did and felt so guilty. I asked him if he canceled our MC appointment for Thursday night he said he is going by himself as out MC is a PHD to. He told me that he thinks he is bi polar and he is gonna get help for his anger.
Well this is where I started crying on the phone and said if you would of went when I told you to none of this would of ever happend I said instead you hang out at AA and you turned out just like them you want no responsibilties and you are somebody I don't know and you turned inot somebody really mean. I told him not to call anymore. I was crying pretty good.
He called back an hour later to see what I did with the concert tickets he bought us. I said I have them and asked soembody else he asked if it was a guy I said no I'm going with Deb. I said would it bother you if I'm with another guy he said yes and that I'm still married I said only for a couple more weeks and he should of thought about his actions before doing what he did. The first times he called I wasn't home and he talked to our daughter on the phone and asked her if she would like him to pick her up from school. She said no and he heard it from her mouth. He said he deserved that. He also said he hopes that he don't have to go the whole winter without seeing the kids. I said I doubt our son will ever want to see you again but maybe someday our daughter might want to see you.
This is so hard but if I go back to him someone's really gonna end up hurt. 2 New Year's Eves ago when he had his hands down anohter womans pants we had quite a fight and I told him that was it then and he tried to hang himself then. If I go back it will be telling my daughter that it is ok to be in a realtionship like that and its not. But it is so hard married 17 years dated for one year. And I dumped a really nice guy to go back and try and make this work.
And now I fear that once I go through with the divorce he will take his life obvioulsy he depression issues. I just don't know what to do.
Any suggestions?

SL35

I don't know your story but I can feel your pain.

"if I go back to him someone's really gonna end up hurt"

Who? If it is him that is his doing not yours, do not blame yourself for something he does.

If you do not want your daughter to end up in a relationship like yours then don't set the example. If you have given it your best shot then go on with your life. You cannot change him only yourself. You cannot control what he does, only your reaction to it.

It is hard giving up 17 years, I know, but do you not think the future can be better. If you found 1 "really nice guy" you can find another.

You must think of yourself and the future. You must think of your children. Do what you know to be right for you and your children and do not blame yourself for someone else's actions.

DD