My STBX has not understood from day 1 that if we could not make the marriage work, there would be no friendship between us...he (betrayer) wanted this. He needs all to like him! <BR>He had an affair (which he states is the only mistake he made, but the marriage of 22 years NEVER worked as I was too controlling, too this and too that.) He stated he wanted reconciliation, but could not give up 26 year old OW, or similar make and model. He did not want the responsibility of kids, but wants the lifestyle I have provided. He is very successful in his own right, but wants what is mine!!!I do not need him for anything now as he has not only betrayed me, but also is walking away from all responsibility of being a father to the 4 teens and had not understood that to be a father he needs to be proactive and call me as the 2 younger kids live with meand the older 2 are at school. He chose not to do this and plays the "victim" My position is that if he wants to be involved, he needs to call me to find out about the kids (he has access to them whenever they are free as they are teenagers). <BR>We met at the court this week and I explained this to him and he said "I'll call you this week" which he did.<BR>He started off the conversation inquiring as to my wellbeeing yesterday. I told him that he was not interested in this and I was not interested in his, but that if he was calling about the kids then we could continue the conversation, which we did. <BR>I had not spoken to him since early June and I sued him I sued him for divorce at the end of June...and yes i cited the OW...name etc in the petition as reasons for this which he went beserk over. ( I have done all the parenting) and he had chosen not to talk to me (he was scared)<BR>How do I deal with his continued stupidity and adolescence??? He is inappropriate with both younger children, making plans to do fun things despite school and homework etc etc. I am supposed to do ALL parenting (as always) and get the leftovers while he runs around with women, seeing the kids at odd times etc.<BR>How do you deal with a shallow, selfish person that has allowed his family to change in ways which are inevitable in a situation like this and still be friends?? If I cannot be his wife, why would i want any part of him for friendship????<P><p>[This message has been edited by willbok99 (edited September 15, 1999).]
