Does anyones marriage lack the love and romance that it once had. Is this normal? I am lost and lonely. More lonely. I long for passionate kisses and romanticness.

I read alot of the problems others have on this site. I read that if there is no passionate kissing involved in love making there is no more love. Has my H lost his love for me. This is what I am thinking now and its driving me crazy.

I initiated the other night attacking him for kisses. I told him that I needed to feel loved and so on. But, i was the initiator not him.

Last night I decided to wait to see if he would initiate something. I looked nice, smelled good. What was the problem. After watching TV for two hours he went to sleep on his side of the bed. So I did as well. He did not hug me or passionately kiss me. He just gave me a peck and a fast I love you and that was that. This morning at the snooze button for 10 minutes he hugged me gave me a peck and went to work.

I do not want a peck. I am tired of pecks. I want passion! I told him already. If I keep telling him I am nagging and then it will be an obligation.

Do you think he just does not love me like he used too?

W(me)33
H (35)
2 kids (5&7)
M 8 years
Together 10 years

Sad:

I read over some of your past posts. You are the WS, am I correct? Your H is the BH?

I think you are missing some very fundamental points to your situation.

Here is a link to another website. This is to a discussion that is ongoing that perhaps you would benefit from.

http://www.affairs-help.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001345.html

I think you are expecting an awful lot from your husband and not taking enough time to appreciate how hurt he very likely is. A man who's wife steps out on him and has sex with another man is going to feel very unmanly. You emasculated him. He is probably not feeling a lot of passion or sexual attraction towards you.

Read the post. I think you will find it very illuminating.

To uphill:

My H does not know about my EA if that is what you would call it. It was only a few talks with an old boyfriend and I stopped it. There is NC. There was no Sex. He lives 300 miles away. I missed what He gave me over the phone (plan simple attention), which is what my husband does not give me. I never told him of my problems in my marriage. I just listened to his voice and my cheeks hurt at the smiles he brought to me over the phone. I know this sounds corny, but I need to laugh and smile again.

This is what made me think about this OM, thinking about getting into a real EA or PA with him, but listening to this site stopped that from happening. I am working on my marriage. I have told him what I need. What I miss. I have attacked him with passionate kisses. But, he has not to me.

Yes he complained about a need not being met. That need was sex. I admit that I am not like I was at the begging of the marriage, but it takes two. After children and work and stress, its kind of hard to do it every day. Especially when you dont have someone complementing you, kissing you, or loving you to the point where you continue to have a good self esteem. My self esteem is very low. I feel ugly. He makes me feel this way.

My question is: Is this my imagination that I want passion and romance like before. Is it not a reality in a relationship over 10 years old, or does he not feel the same? I have asked him does he love me. He says of course or I would have left already. Then why not have romance that can bring the fire back to the marriage.