I'm posting this for all those BS's both male and female who think that there WS who is gone is having the time of their life.

I like most of you have had many thoughts that my WW is much happier since she left on dday 10 months ago to continue her affair.

Thoughs of them laughing and having a great xmass. Good times at New Years etc.

Well like many others before me have said often the affair is not near as great as we the BS think it is.

I just found out that my WW who is a big family person has not only left me but much of her family as well. Even during the holiday's.

1) no contact for 10 months with some nieces and nephews - one is now engaged
2) one of her sisters has not heard from her in 4 months though the sister has called my WW.
3) not even a xmass card or phone call to many family members.

OM has also taken on the same M.O with much of his family. In fact I recently found out the OM own mother described her son as acting like an [censored]?hole for the past year.

So while we as the BS may think our WS are having the time of thier lives reality is infact much differant.

In my case the affair couple are living in a world that contains themselves and only those people that can at minimumly tolarate the affair relationship.

anyone else see the same in there WS world??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">anyone else see the same in there WS world??

Well, no, actually, my sitch is slightly different.........

Xh moved to where ow lives (about 200 mi away from me), and that moved him closer to his family. The rest of his family - who live in another state - are ALL in favor of this new "relationship."

So, he has renewed contact w/his family (they all claim I didn't like them) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> and I am left out of their circles - NO contact from any IL's. Notice from my sig line that we had no children together. One SS was very close to me, and even called me after his father left me, telling me he loved me and was very angry w/his dad for this. Apparently they have made their peace, cause this is second Christmas (H gone 3 Christmases now) that I have not heard from him or his W. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I will ASSUME H did spend Christmas with him, though.

Our close friends (including those who live in that town), since we used to live there, have not heard from him at all. He has cut off all ties with them.

It's like: In the split, *I* got the friends, he got the family.

As far as "Is his life a bed of roses now?" I would have no way of knowing one way or the other. I DO know this, though: Every time I have had contact/conversations with him, HE IS ANGRY!

HE wanted the div. HE up and left one day, without even TELLING ME!!! AND YET WHENEVER I TALK TO HIM, HE'S ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING??
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Some part of me believes it is as you say........It ain't all it was made out to be

The greener grass must be pretty HARD to keep that way! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

My ex WH is doing the same to his family whom he was once very close to. My counselor told me that behavior is typical explaining it as compartizing, putting each relationship in unopen boxes. The WS keeps the boxes unopen, (not communicating) because of the guilt at their own behavior, and the anger and disappointment they know will be directed once the box is open. My ex finally calls some of his own family after almost 9 months of no contact to invite them to his wedding with OW. I heard from these family members that he actually seem surprized that no one wanted to met or have anything to the OW.

My ex has called me controlling and now I am blamed for turning his family against him. He is truly in fogland...Rhonda

Well it does sound like we are all experiancing much of the same.

I would agree that the No Contact with family or friends is a direct result of the guilt, shame, denial etc the WS feels.

As for the anger it's almost comical at times. After all if your happy and in love shouldn't the WS feel great.


Has anyone else also observed this - I'm starting to see family, friends that we as a couple both shared becomming angrier and frustrated with my WW.

Almost like they have been abused, slapped in the face yet because my WW has gone into hidding they don't get the chance to express there feelings about how she has treated me along with her lack of respect for them or the relationship they shared with my WW.

They (family and friends) are feeling hurt as my WW has basicly tossed them aside as well.

gg:

I think we all see some of that. Probably those with WSs involved in more "typical" As than those like mine, where my W never left. But now, I see her enjoying herself far more than she did during the A or anytime up until recovery started some months ago.

During the A, before I found out, she spent TG alone in her house out of state. No fam, no RM. Looking back, I chalk it up 2 one of the things she needed 2 do 2 grow. Thankfully, she has.

-ol' 2long